Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Jumble Sales for Brains and Plenty of Tat Donated by Services

Have already taken 3 quarters of loz this morning and still veering towards hyperventilation, so dropping the other quarter pending...something.

Sure this is going to be one of those rambly postings but so what eh? Is not like I need to get it into any particular format to pass an exam or get extra Brownie points.

Highly wired up over Dad. I sense MH services have given up on him and I feel like I am drowning in the horrors of our joint history.

Dilemmas abound. Not just with my brain trying to get some level in order for me to get through today but trying to get some place where I don't have to fret the fekk over him. that I can let go a bit because there is some semblance of support that will ease his distress.

Wrote to a friend, and then was prompted to revisit that from a memory posting on another blog, about what I call Selective Memory Recall. As in the memory blocking stuff. Weird thing is it is blocking any good stuff and recalling all the pain. Must be histrionic me doing the drama queen bit. Whatever it is soul destroying!

The letter from the MH Trust Director did nothing to reassure me, although sure they tried...or maybe just tried to cover their own arses (like they do). All it basically said was they shared my concerns and were going to talk to people about them. I know any positive movement is slow in the NHS but BLPT have had years to get something right and yet they keep getting things so very WRONG!

Am furious over my care co-ordinator because I feel like she is treating me like some muppet who needs to be given leaflets about my illness and problem solving tasks in the shape of writing what my problems are and the possible answers. DOH!

The major problem is actually more to do with services leaving my father to fester, taking large amounts of medication that are dangerous (in regards to him falling over). Granted he can ask for help but he isn't. I don't know why but I feel that there is a level of capacity in him missing that the MH services need to acknowledge. Basically Dad and me are passing our mental illness back and forth to each other, either directly or indirectly and that is not right...not at all.

Another problem is that there is no one else either family of friends willing and able to offer practial or emotional help makes the situation even more intolerable for the both of us. How does my care co-ordinator think I can solve that? Conjure up some pretend family and social network from the eye of toad and tail of newt (and a bunch of herbs)?

Basically what the care co-ordinator was saying was "I can offer you basic stuff that you could easily access on the internet (and have been given several times before) but after that you are on your own". Cheers matey!

To say I feel despondant is an understatement and I have a meds review to arrange with my GP, where they will question my lorazepam use and I will tell them it is either lorazepam or you will have me swinging, from the neck!

All pressures and no let out clause. Well there is one..but am not quite at that point yet!!!!


  1. Hi Mandy

    Just back from getting bloods taken. I understand your frustration. Is your father's cc aware of the severity of your father's relapse. I know you feel loyal to him but is it maybe time to have a quiet word. I'm sure your father will understand when better.

  2. Meds review??? wozat??? When I was on Psychiatric meds I just got more and more till one day I said to the nurse I can buy better ones from my mate :>O "apparently" they would calm me down I said innocently. her look over her glasses said it all.
    Your poor Dad, at least he has a good daughter in you but I can only imagine your thoughts.
    Your comment on my blog re musht peas for brains paints a picture like what Salvador Dali would paint, so I wish you all the bestest


  3. Sorry it is all so frustrating and horrible - and I too understand soemthing of how it feels. Be safe.

  4. Well all I can do is offer hugs sweetie.I'm feeling brain dead atm & really should be in bed.

  5. It has been reported that Labor Party leaders Amram Mitzna and Avraham Burg, together with initiator Yossi Beilin, are planning to sign an agreement with the PLO-Palestinian Authority "on behalf" of Israel. The agreement stipulates that the Temple Mount and most of the Old City of Jerusalem will come under Arab control. The Western Wall will remain Israeli, as will Zion and Dung Gates, but the other city gates will be under Arab control. Jews will be permitted, according to the agreement, to "walk freely" from Jaffa Gate to the Jewish Quarter. Furthermore, the cities of Ariel and Efrat, as well as most other Jewish communities in Judea, Samaria and Gaza will be dismantled and evacuated, according to the agreement. All in all, 100,000 Jews would be evacuated from their homes, according to Beilin/Mitzna/Burg.

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  6. Hi Lareve

    Hope blood tests results are okay and you get the results quickly too. :>)

  7. Hi Alyn

    Meds reviews should take place annually. At least that is what I have been informed.

    I have never actually had one at my GP's before. Have postponed making appointment till Monday, when I can get a lift and am less likely to throw one.

    I reckon Mr Dali could have done a Mushy Peas masterpiece. Ha! Ha!

  8. Hi C

    Stayed over at friend's last night. I actually walked there (about 30 minutes) so did something positive yesterday.

    Today, well I have the combined delight's of womanhood, anti migraine tabs and nausea but if it wasn't that lot it would be something else to deal with.

    Hope kids show some signs of interest in lessons and things are tolerable for you.

  9. Hi Sis

    Hugs, as ever, much appreciated.


  10. Dear Mr Matthew

    Most agreements aren't worth the paper they are written on these days, although any positive move in the Middle East has to be welcomed...however short lived it maybe.