Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

'Being Boring' .....and other facts of life

Know I haven't posted for ages....sometimes I would rather not and so I didn't. Is not like any cake is going to spoil because am not around watching the oven....Lives go on (in their varying ways) and such is how it is.

Blogging today cos I feel like it but can't see it being an everyday gets pretty monot after a while and I really can't be doing with flowering myself up just to get some attention. I know cynical what?

I gather (although was not party to any of it...not doing the Twitter thing) that Stephen Fry got a strop on cos somebody made a comment that his work was getting a bit boring.

He was threatening to leave Twitter etc. I found that quite pathetic really..and yeah I know I am not Mr Fry's biggest fan but he is not a child. Someone commented to me that it doesn't matter what walk of life you are in, if you have mental illness then you should be shown compassion (as in I was not showing him compassion). I actually think that it is more to do with dramatics and over-reacting than anything else. Sure the Fry fanatics will be seeing me as Satan's sister but it is about context and it is about what is actually going on in people's lives rather than 1 non flattering comment in an otherwise adoring following. Perhaps he is so cossetted and has got to a point where he believes all he should get is fawning but I don't think that does anyone any favours really.

In fact, I think I should thank those who have taken time to come on my blog and had a real pop (even though some were as true to themselves as Britain's commitment to peace keeping in the world).

I don't actually think it is okay to be spiteful and venal but it doesn't hurt to reality check (even when you have an illness...maybe it is more important to reality check when you have an illness because there is a vast amount of fakery in this world).

Bottom line is, I think, Stephen Fry acted like a big girl's blouse but I understand all is fine in his Twitter camp...apologies and group hugs abounded..and he can carry on Twittering to his heart's content and those who find him a bit boring will, no doubt, steer clear. After all who would want to feel responsible for the man's departure from that arena????

And so my life carries on ('girl interrupted' enough by such revelations to make comment on her own blog). Still waiting for the local MH Trust to make a decision on which care home it wants to cough up any dosh to send Dad to. The preferred one (by all) having raised it's charges and budget holders recoiling at that face. That situation has rattled on for about a month now.

Dad doesn't want to see me because I really am a She Devil who dared to agree with the shrink that he should try and do a few things (OT..such as it is) and coming out for walks with me. First and last rule of being a daughter - when father is ill: You will be compromised to the max!!!! Actually, that is my interpretation. Dad is just saying he is too ill to see me. Could be paranoia on my part but I know Dad and I know he can sulk for the world when he feels he has been treated unjustly (well, everyone can but it doesn't solve anything....except maybe to serve some sense of personal affrontage).

I have made an appointment to talk to his shrink on Thursday...about compromised positions and to ask him if he really knows what the heck is going on (treatment, longer term aims) and my peripheral role as it is).

I have been advised that a Direct Payment is the next step for me and positive noises are being fed back about chances of getting it. I am not going to hold my breath. Am on 3rd care co-ordinator, this year. But if the application is made and successful, I might just get that consistency I need in my care plan...and life. That is consistency outside of myself...which is still a work in progress.

The big plus is the time I am spending with my daughter. We have a once a week (sometimes twice) time that is ours and it is great. Last week we went shopping in Milton Keynes and yesterday we went swimming.

There's still a bloody great hole in my life but accept that it will be what it will be, whilst I carry on carrying on and until such time as. In the meantime, I do what I can when I can and when I can't I don't.

Non revelationary rallying cries from here..nothing to print in a recovery newsletter. It's maintenance as usual!!