Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Monday, 29 December 2008

Where there is life, there is hope

Such is the saying and today I feel that there is an element of truth in that saying...even for a haggered old sceptic like me!

After a game of charades, in which I was reluctantly participating... going to Dad's and him not answering the door, checking his front window and him not being evident. Me thunked "He must be round the shops". So I headed round the shops. Dr J's Mum was coming out of the grocer's so I asked if he was in there, she said "No, but I think I have seen him in the chemist's". So I went into the chemist's and saw who I thought was Dad at the counter. In typical style I said "Hi there, Dad" (not quietly either). Everyone turned round, including the man who was not my Dad. Oops! Backed, shamefaced, out of the door and that was when I decided to ring Dad from my mobile. Took him a while to answer. He had been in the shower.

All this came to pass because Dad had said he was going round the shops earlier and because he overdid it on the sleeping tablets (night before), he never got there. Stating the blindingly obvious, I should have rung him before I left check on things.

Anyway, in one way it was a positive that I rung when I did because he needed some food, so I went home and got a goody bag before heading back to his.

The usual set up (when I get to his) is that I am walking on egg shells, trying not to say anything that might trigger an upset and after an hour we are both exhausted and I head off deflated. Today was different. He was making jokes. In his words "Sometimes the only thing to do is find humour". I can dig that. We had always been able to spark off each other when it comes to taking the mickey out of life and ourselves and so I was relieved that we were doing something that led somewhere other than distress.

I spent over 3 hours with him and I enjoyed it. We ate our way through a box of mince pies, made headway into some chocolate covered rum soaked raisins and spoke affectionately about things we did with Mum. He even told me a story about how they had got caught in a rainstorm on the way to a guest house and Mum was getting all spooked out but in spite of that she insisted on finding a place to have a fish and chip supper.

Now, this shift may not last but I was chuffed when he said that he had enjoyed my company and although in the past, and because of his states, he couldn't cope with seeing me for very long that he now wants to spend more time with me. As ever, I was cautious and said that all being well I could come along New Year's Day and spend as much time with him then.

I am very much standing by what I said to him on Christmas Day and that is "Let us take this one day at a time" and hoping that one day at a time we can become close again and give comfort to each other as well as take the pxss.

One small step for Dad and one big sigh of relief from Mandkind.


  1. Mandy
    I am so pleased that your Dad seems to be in better spirits and that you can both enjoy eachother's company. I do hope 2009is better for him, and then for you in turn. And I do hope his brother gets to come over at some point and help you out a little. Does he respond well to his brother? I mean it may be hard for him to take advice of his daughter but easier off someone older.

  2. Oh yes, I'll vouch for humour, each and every time. What's the alternative eh? Dx

  3. Hi Lareve

    I would like my uncle to come over but really can't see it happening. He can be a bit of a drama queen and then do nothing about it, post flapping.

    My Dad was the youngest of 3 brothers and I think he looked up to this brother and was guided by him alot, in the past. So in answer to your question, I think he would listen to what his brother says although Dad has the stubborn streak too, which can be a double sided coin.

    I do think simply having his brother around....Someone else from his family, to connect back in to would do him alot of good although when his brother would have to leave that might knock Dad back.

    I think if Dad were to go to Germany with his brother, even for a short while, that might help him. Someone nearer his age and his extended family. He would do alot that he isn't able to do here.

    Is all a bit pie in the sky but worth thinking about..keeping in the pending file, in case. :>)

  4. Me too Dave

    The alternative is pretty pants x

  5. Mandy,
    I am hoping that that pie in the sky becomes a reality. It is not fair that you should carry all the burden of your Dad. I know he is your Dad but his family should want to help especially knowing you are fragile yourself.
    I have to put myslef in your Dad's position , and of course Idon;t know him- but it sounds to me like he is a proud man. It must be very hard for him to have to rely on his daughter, when deep inside he prob wants to be the one looking after you. It is lonely place for him when he wants to reach out for help to you, but doesn;t want to burden you. I could be off mark, but just a thought.

  6. Hi again Lareve

    My Dad is actually a very sensitive man but comes from a generation where men were men and that meant alot of their feelings were kept hidden. I wrote that with a large amount of contempt for that generation!!!

    I love him for his sensitivy and his pride. He should be allowed his pride for having survived, and still remain sensitive. Although it most probably hasn't served him well in the world.

    I will bare all these things in mind and should his brother ever show signs of getting off his arse and on a plane, I will be talking about whether or not a trip to Germany would be good. As in whether he is up to looking out for Dad and Dad is up to the trip.

  7. P.S. I might even drop half dozen lozees and brave the flight with him. That is spondooliks willing or new visa card verified for action. :>)

    Would depend on if I felt he needed me or if he would be better to get some mentoring and quality time with his brother.

  8. Well I think that might be good for both of you. Did you get those credit card charges back by the way? won't be able to fund trips while others are spending your dosh- that and the government clawing back what isn;t there.

  9. Hi Mandy.Glad to hear things are picking up for your Dad, albeit with an air of fragility.I'm glad also that it gave you some much needed hope & respite from the situation of past months.
    Hope he is up to you visitig New Year's Day & for trip in future to Germany.
    Love Sis xxx

  10. Hi Lareve

    Not long back from a 3 hour appointment at hairdresser's. Don't least the new hair style and colouring was worth it. And thanks to Dad for the crimbo money that helped pay for it. :>)

    In between all this trying to get Dad's meds sorted. Between MH services, the GPs and the chemist they have managed to totally fekk up his prescriptions and medication delivery.

    How can such basic things as getting a letter to a GP and then a chemist picking up the new and existing prescriptions, preparing them (as in putting correct amounts in boxes) and getting them to a person be such a nightmare?

    I fear the human race is in some kind of state of devolution!!!

    If he doesn't get the right meds delivered tomorrow I will be arriving at his GP's (via the chemist) pick axe in hand!

    And Dr J has got the hump because am too frazzed and frozen to get to his, later.

    I think I have done good lasting this far and now need some 'me' space.

    As for trips to Germany. Well, I have yet to hear back from credit card supplier HQ so am not verfying new card until I do... And until I know exactly what I am paying to the council and when...most things are on hold.

    Is maybe good that I haven't got direct line phone numbers or I would be screaming expletives at a growing list of people who have twatted me off.

    Hope your meeting went or goes well for you today x

  11. Thanks Sis

    Hope things are ticking along for you.