Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Friday, 21 November 2008

It's all gone a greyer shade of peuce

Thought I was over the worst with the virus yesterday. I even managed to walk to the local shops and back. I wasn't great but was picking up.

Today, I feel the same as I did on Wednesday. Am so very tired, weak and in pain.

Poor Hayley. I was no company for her. She left at 3, saying I needed to rest up. I Know I do, so have made myself a hot chocolate, put a hot botty in my bed and am going to curl up and sleep.

Today, the lozee dosage is back to 1.5 mg and am waving a white flag.


  1. Hi Mandy
    Sorry absent of late. hoping you are better soon and the Lozes pull you through to a better day.
    Lareve x

  2. Hi Lareve

    No need to apologise. I thought you might be taking a bit of time out for yourself.

    Nice to have you posting though :>)

    My care co-ordinator turned up..just as I was heading to bed.

    Perhaps it was better she saw me at a raw time because I let out concerns and anger. Not in a vicious way but in a "Enough is enough" way.

    She said she understood why I was feeling how I felt. That I was under too much pressure and that more needed to be done for Dad as his situation is having a serious impact on me. She said she would take it back to a team meeting but that my CMHT would be unable to make Dad's CMHT do anything more. I am surprised anyone is made to do anything because, as I told her, unless I am ringing up his care co-ordinator things continually slip through nets.

    As for a contingency plan for crisis care...well, the intermediate bed unit is no more. It has been absorbed into acute care unit (need for more beds for acute care being the reason).

    I said that there was no way, unless I was totally incoherent and beyond capacitated on any level that I would go into the acute unit, so if I hit a bigger crisis then the crisis team will be asked to provide me with support at home.

    Ho hum.

    So now this county has no respite care and the south part of this county has no crisis bed care.

    Another part of the modernisation programme in action!!!!

    Anyway, such was the convo with the care co-ordinator and she has advised me that the new member of the team who I have agreed to see every other week(as part of their training), is there to provide the sort of things I want and I said I want distraction therapy rather than target driven activities. She agreed.

    Maybe some progress has been made but I still feel I am at the mercy of a service in decline.

    And that aside (cos it will be what it will be) hope you are feeling a bit better now. Would like you to feel alot better but know the score. It doesn't work that way does it?

    Take care there xx

  3. Thinking of you - not that that is much help. Take Care

  4. Hello Amanda . I have been an admirer of your blog for some time. Let me introduce myself, my name is Wallace , I live in Sussex and I used to work in the specialist map section of a local authority reference library before I got my diagnosis.

    I no longer work full time but do some core expenses paid voluntary work around population control and the occasional jumble sale stint up at my local church where I also play the organ if the regular organist , a truly remarkable woman in her late 70's isnt able to make the morning services. I'm afraid she is fighting a loosing battle with alcoholism ....

    But I digress. The reason why I broke radio silence as it were is to suggest that perhaps , and please dont take offence if you are already engaged in a similar activity, you and the people who read your blog should think of joining a local walking club like the one in Shoreham I belong to and try to deal with your problems by taking brisk walks every day.

    I have a 3 bedroomed bungalow on the coast so the walks in the sea air do me the power of good but I'm sure there are very pleasant places to walk in towns and cities too for those not as fortunately situated as myself.

    I can post some photographs of my walks if you like - I have just been taught how to upload pictures by the local social services ' Silver Surfer ' group and I have just this week purchased a new pair of pigskin walking boots and I must confess that they are causing some discomfort. Ariadne , a young walker from the local WI - our group is very diverse - suggested that I should soak my boots in urine . I am still in two minds about this. What do you think? Will it discolour them?

    Anyway I really do enjoy reading your blog and I aim to comment when I can if that's agreeable to you.

    Keep up the good work.


  5. Thanks Pebbles,

    Got an out of hours appointment with a GP at local hospital, yesterday.

    Am on kick arse medication for Shingles. Lucky me eh?

    Hope things are okay for you, there. x

  6. Hello Wallace

    And welcome to my world :>)

    You are a busy bunny aren't you?

    Looking forward to seeing any pictures you have of your walkabouts. Can you add them in comments boxes?

    Your bungalow sounds lovely. I have a semi detached...brain that is!

  7. Mandy,

    Thanks you so very for your prompt response .I apologise for mistakenly calling you Amanda. It's probably the medication I am on. I was up early thinking I might be called in to replace Vera on the organ this morning but apparently she only had a tipple last night so as I was dressing I heard her playing Amazing Grace - with the odd missed note I might add - as I type as St Mathew's is only a stones throw away. And it snowed overnight so I looked out on to a veritable Dickensian Christmas scene . I'll need to don my old duffel coat , scarf and gloves when I go out for a bracing walk later.

    I will certainly be thinking of you as I set out across the virgin snow later. I do so like making new lady friends.

    But first to my one vice, my pipe.
    I must attend to it. Its the only form of pleasure and relaxtion I get nowadays. Yes, I'll have a quiet smoke then venture out to get the Sunday Times to read after my walk in the lounge of the Green Man over a pint of Old Peculiar. They do a smashing free Sunday lunch at the bar although with the economy taking a turn for the worst the local migrant workers falling upon the free spread like locusts I dont know how much longer the traditional will last.

    I do like Sundays though. They give one a sense of all round well being. Joy to the world.


  8. Wallace

    Poor Vera. Perhaps she has been overdoing it, with the organ!!!! One needs to limit oneself. Don't ya think?...or exhaustion sets in.

    A pipe and a pint of 'Old Peculiar' eh? You are a wild one.

    Today, I plan to take a brisk walk to the kitchen to put the kettle on for a cup of non amber nectar and I might hunt out Em's portable bontempi (which was a passing phase for Em...of about a week) and try a few bars of a Depeche Mode tune.

    After that I will be volunteering to take a long soak and then take another even brisker walk (cos it is bucketting down) to give Dad back his washing and catch up on just how shit his life is before slumping on the sofa and contemplating what a thoroughly good egg you are and although it must be all systems go with you, I think I will stick to twiddling my toes until the Strictly results show is on. :>)