Philosophy of The Big Society

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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Cutting back on benzos and the 'meds' reality.

Having relied a bit more on lozees over the weekend than I would normally, have decided to cut back and, for the last 2 days, have managed on 1. Taking half in the morning and the next half when I feel the need. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be but it wasn't a picnic either. Although I went 8 hours before needing the other half last night.

Am not planning a serious detox. I don't want to come off this medication. Well, in an ideal world I would want to come off it but know that if I did, would end up going too high or too neurotic (deffo too much of something I wouldn't handle) and then would likely end up in acute care or, if not that, referred to psychiatrist for new medication (yuk). If I can stick to one a day that would be the ideal in the world I live, and wish to continue to function, in.

I do realise I am erratic and so not carving anything in stone but is important to try and maintain as low dose as possible on benzos. I know the score on their addictive nature and the long term possibility of ending up on several of the things just to stop withdrawal symptoms. I also know the score on having to survive and trying to keep the effects of my mental illness from swamping me.

As for what is going on today. Dossy morning, with bath and hair wash and tunes and then this afternoon it is off to GP with Dad to get his blood tests done and then going walkies with Support Worker, after.

My friend has gone back on Olanzapine, at her psychiatrist's request. Hope that goes okay for her and have said will stay over tonight if she needs some moral support. I have my views about that medication but it is her body and mental state that she has to deal with and even though I think most anti psychotics are horrid, appreciate she feels so bad she is willing to try it again. Is not like there are decent options is it? Ho hum.

Time to get that kettle on and move forward with the day.


  1. Good Luck with this Mandy - Medication can be a blessing or a curse or perhaps both at once. I think people have to find thier own way with meds - shrinky-dinks should be our helpers and not the boss.

  2. Hope it goes well. Agree re the benzos - awareness is the key, imo.

  3. Hi Pebbles

    Hope you don't mind me calling you that.

    Shrinky dinks....not a good time to be talking to me about them.

    Virus really kicked in yesterday so when support worker came to see me, I couldn't even get up off the sofa let alone get out of the house.

    Was very depressed and all the anxt I have carried around splurged out. I cursed (like a fish wife) about the care co-ordinator and shrink and said "I can't see the point in seeing either of them". Is same bollocks, different day.

    The Support Worker did say that I need to talk to CC about preparing for things, should I nosedive. This being my worst time of year and that perhaps my care plan needs to include an update in regards to contingency planning for such events. Now that was the Support Worker saying care co-ordinator would be far too busy shoving pamphlets in my hand and getting me to complete stupid checklists.

    Anyway fekk 'em. I have no desire to talk to any of them because they don't listen to me nor do they have anything of any use to offer me.

  4. Hi C

    I did take an extra third last night because I was over exhausted with the virus but unable to sleep.

    So far, today, I have taken a third and don't feel the need to take any more yet.

    It is all a balancing and re-balancing act isn't it?