Philosophy of The Big Society

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Friday, 28 November 2008

Chattering Monkeys and Dog Tired

Didn't get on my blog yesterday.

Awoke to text from friend who needed some attention. Spent a couple of hours with them(mostly fighting off a headache). No disrespect but why am I doing MH services jobs for them? And when do I get the pay cheque?

I felt totally rank really and had the mission to post the letter to the council. Bit of a priority trying to get my housing benefit re-instated. A lot more than a bit of a concern that these systems seem hell bent on punishing the ill. I do fear that (especially in this credit crunch) the mentally ill will be the whipping boys and girls. Will cross the next paper drenched bridge when I come to it and am contemplating looking at the disability discrimination act in regards to how government bodies treat the mentally ill. I don't understand how they work, only that they seem to hound me alot. Perhaps that is why these organisations are set make everything so difficult that only the most devious or able can get things from them (as in proper services). then again, I am a worm aren't I? Wiggling around in the mud!!!

Animal references seem to be my order of the day.

Anyway, dragged myself to the post box and saw Dad in the local shop. Was chuffed that he'd managed to get out and he got some fish and chips from the shop. Perhaps my quote of the day should be "All is not lost if you can still make it to the chippy".

Took his washing round later...but felt like migraine was imminent. Dropped a tabby. At Dad's got text from another friend (which on another day wouldn't have phased me) and I felt like everything was coming on on me. Like i had gone beyond my cut off point and it was like chattering monkeys surrounded me.

Panic attacked all the way back from Dad's and was relieved to get home. Dropped half a loz (my third of the day) and ignored the phone and tried to logic my way through but I felt totally fekked.

Tried making cards,playing music, deep breathing etc blah blah. Nothing worked and by 10.00pm was climbing the walls so took another half a loz and finally, mercifully, got some sleep.

Today, is official card making day but I am in damage limitation mode. I want peace and zilch demands.


  1. Sending hugs hun & email.

    Love Sis xxx

  2. Mandy,

    When life gets too demanding I take a brisk walk - physical exercise does the world of good , I've heard that local Mind groups offer this service for a small fee. I do find my walks along the coastline so helpful .

    I'm also really sorry to hear you are having problems with benefits. It's unfortunate but the system has to be harsh I suppose to weed out the fraudulent claimaints and scroungers. My son David, the one who works for a mental health charity, believes more should be done to get people with mental health problems off benefits and into employment. They should bring back national service for the youngsters, stiffen them up a bit. He thinks a lot of the service users he deals with are mallingerers. He's always had the work ethic deeply ingrained , I made sure of that, his downfall was pot and other drugs the bloody fool.

    The police were round again yesterday as the stone throwing has started again. It's the tykes from the local estate who are responsible, the village has been blighted by that development , we get the overspill from Shoreham.
    The gypsies, tramps and thieves.

    Do you remember that song?

    I forget the woman's name, she was a drug addict though and a bit flighty if you get my drift. A child of the 60's I suppose. Bit after my time, I preferred Jim Reeves, Julie London and that young bearded chap, Roger Whiticker. 'I'm going to leave old Durham Town...' I rarely listen to music nowadays - its all beat bang bang bang and no melody - I still play a few of the old classics on the piano at the local day centre. The older folk like that.

    The centre is due to close Christmas week as part of a local shake up to improve services. There was a lengthy consultation process earlier in the year undertaken by some people down from London so in the New Year we're all being relocated to a centre run by the occupational therapy department in Shoreham. I'm an old fuddy duddy pensioner and Julie, my Care Co-ordinator , a beautiful black lady from Nigeria , has said there could be some difficulties obtaining travel costs as the local buses are now very expensive. I'm sure they'll work something out.

    Old Sandra isnt going though . She says Shoreham is too far for her. Noreen looks like she is going to drop out as well. She has this idea that our age group isnt really welcome, she can be very negative. Me , I'm looking forward to interacting with the youngsters at the new centre. Perhaps there will be a budding Twitcher amongst them - that as birdwatcher to the uninitiated. Perhaps they'll have a piano too ,people always find common ground, best foot forward and all that.

    To go out with a bang the lacal centre is having a Christmas Party and Dance Night on the 8th of December .The closing date is a week before Christmas but so many staff are off on the 19th the 8th was the best we could do to ensure everyone would be there. It's not going to be a big do this year though - yes we have funding problems in the sticks as well - but we are all going to contribute a couple of quid towards some snacks and bevarages and to buy some streamers and balloons.

    David said he might pop by . It would be good to see him some time over the Christmas hols as he is so busy with work now as he's a Senior Manager. There's still the Carol Service at St Mathews to look forward too. I hope the regular organist I cover for occasionally lets me play a tune or two. The Met Office is also talking about snow over the big day itself this year.Not much left of it now though. 2009! Who would have thought it.

    Oh well , have to go, needs must , chat later.


  3. Hi Mandy

    You ahve had such a mixed week have been thinking of you. Sending hugs x

  4. Thanks Sis

    Been a very, very, busy day so will check out email tomorrow.

    Hugs to you


  5. Wallace, Wallace, Wallace

    Wot for art thou Wallace?

    The boy in the bubble that grew up to be the old boy in the bubble?

    Even though you are a self-satisfied, and rather blindly deluded, twit... you have a kind of naievity about you that is rather endearing.

    Well, in short time. I don't think I would be able to accompany you on one of those brisk walks (temptation to push you over rock or into whatever large object comes across our path would be too tempting).

    As for some Crimbo dinner (organised around the staff) prior to closing down the centre over the most depressing period of the year...a time when a lot of people with mental illness are alone and struggling. You can shove that in your pint of "Old Peculiar" and drink it down in one!!!

  6. Hi Lareve

    It has been a jumbled up week..finished off by a manic day.

    Overall positive, apart from utter cock up by GP practise in communications with chemist. Leading to me not being able to get my tablets until Monday. Even though, when I rang the receptionist, yesterday, she assured me the prescription was signed yesterday and ready for collection. When the chemist's staff member turned up to get it today, they were told it wasn't ready!!!!!!

    Hows about I send a group of chimps round to GP's surgery, to man the reception area. If nothing else it would be a fun time to be party to.

    Rest of day, pretty good but too long to go into detail about here.

    Might expand tomorrow...or, more likely, things will have moved on to even weirder pastures.


  7. hi manders,

    god dont mention the C word! i bumped into andy's wife and sister in the pound shop this morning laden down with cheap pressies , i hadnt given C much of a thought til then. i scurried off back to the bedsit with me toothpaste and shaving gel.

    and no Wallace, I dont fancy spending it at yours either as there's another word beginning with C that aptly sums up people like you...and its not comfortably well off middle class twat!

  8. Hi Mandy

    Fish and Chips make everything seem better I always think. Hope the card making goes well.

  9. Hi Pebbles

    Fish and chips are one of my favourite meals. There is something so comforting about that combo..although the fat content would be my dietary quota for about a month.

    What the has to be done! x