Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Monday, 30 March 2009

Reality is so passe....and you can change your reality (tv) to suit

Yes, it's official. Gotta keep you sunny side up.

I burnt mine on a sunbed but have a red jumpsuit and Biggles hat and as the future is so bright I am already wearing shades, no one will notice.

Forgive me if there is a teensy weensy bit of cynicism sneaking in. Old habits die hard but is okay cos I have my memorial magazine of Jade Goody's life as a form of inspiration. We could all learn alot from her.

So the new road to perdition/reformation involves

Smiling at everyone and smiling even if someone isn't there (You never know whose lurking about)....not forgetting to smile at yourself every time you look in a mirror, window or anything remotely reflective...see it as a kind of CBT.

Taking your medication with a spoonful of sugar and being grateful to the pharma companies for their generosity in creating this tabby for you...remember you really are that special.

Love your enemies more than your friends (or at least show appropriate amounts of adoration)...because they are the ones who you can rely on to be up there..or heading that way and hell why do all the work yourself? No! you don't need the top job (heads always roll at some point) far enough behind to make a sharp exist or change allegiance when necessary....not forgetting to smile at everyone whilst you do.

Wear a badge saying "Happy to help". Simple but effective.

Go on a reality tv show. It's important for people to know that you are a bit bonkers but not much so keep laughing in the face of adversity...and don't be afraid to get your bits out (the punters love that sort of thing and you can claim it as 'one of those wobbly times when the moment ran away with you' when it comes to writing your book). Do ensure you have a publicist ready and waiting when you leave. You want the world to share in your recovery.

Write a book...for sure you can stick in really devastating stuff but mix it with some 'revelational bits of how you made progress' (in between shenanigans with a couple of minor celebs, some wild parties followed by days roaming around dressed as a chicken in unknown places and waking up from a drunken stupor aboard the QE2, followed by an in depth debate around stigma with Prince Phillip) it off with an epiphany (in the form of words of wisdom from a fellow wandering star) and Bob's yer uncle.

I feel better already. Now for a chorus of "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life".

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