Philosophy of The Big Society

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Friday, 10 July 2009

Another round of revolving doors

I wasn't going to write because I haven't been filled with a new sense of purpose or well being by latest goings on with MH staff.

Reality is what it is so I am going to write. The meeting on Monday was another round of 'what can we do for you'. The Director offering to follow up on ECT, CBT, direct payments and social support. I have been promised contact numbers if I have concerns. Yes, on the surface all very warm and fluffy stuff. I have serious doubts about the CBT but I kept schtum because is Dad's choice to take that option or not...

I remember being given contact details by the other Director, who made contact once and then didn't bother getting back to me. I also have concerns (as I raised at the meeting) that things are offered and then my father is left to sort out how he gets to appointments etc..which then is left to me to get him there. Director assured me that these arrangments would be resolved by his staff.

I don't believe what was agreed will happen because I have been to plenty of meetings and things are offered and promised and don't materialise. Is all fine and dandy, a Director saying things but someone else has to deliver on their promises....other staff and their track records show that they don't. Is all in pending present. As it has been for last 18 months.

Wednesday was implosion day. My new care co-ordinator turned up 45 minutes late as her previous appointment overan. Wrong day for that to happen. I had around 30 minutes with her, before I had to go to GP appointment. She said all she could offer me was the services of the Crisis Team. Yes, just what I need 10 minutes a day of someone asking me if I am sleeping, eating and what my mood is like. Too little of not much of anything for me. Care co-ordinator said "Well, you know what service are like". Yes, I do..self serving. I became pre-occupied with getting to GP appointment and so said I don't believe the system is there to help me and all I want now is as much medication as will sedate me to place where I am not likely to do something to myself. Is about survival. She made some feeble comment about it being a case of how the team help me to sustain and would contact me.

I know how the team will help me to sustain... by doing what they always do. Nothing!!! I doubt I will hear from her for a couple of weeks. That is custom and practise.

The GP was compassionate. I think those GPs who do care are aware of the gaps in MH services. He basically said there wasn't much he could do. I thought that anyway but he has given me a prescription for lorazepam. Enough to stay calm and or oblivous when I need to (for a few weeks).

I undersand how people become alcoholics and junkies. There really isn't anything there, support wise. It is all down to the individual and that is fine when people can keep focussed (on self healing and getter better..or whatever particular thing gives them a sense of purpose and meaning). When their days aren't swamped by losses past and present and the impact they have. Some will say I am making that an excuse not to do anything.

I still get up...I still do the acceptable healthy things like tidying up, washing, eating, bathing....dragging myself out for walks. I make my cards (although sometimes I think the only ends is to have used my time creatively). I see his washing, buy him treats, cook for him when he is her, listen to his despair. I maintain some kind of relationship with my daughter. I try to keep it light...she doesn't need to be embroiled in all this 'negative stuff' Hmmmm.

Basically, I am back on me Todd, surviving and that is as good as it gets.


  1. nothing to add to that Mand, i just wonder when services people will start trying to recruit us to help save their jobs.

    i can imagine the heartfelt pleas in the media

    ' all those vunerable people who will be just abandoned without us...'

    they'd say it straightfaced too!

    sack the fucking lot of them, doubt anyone would notice anyway

  2. Wish I could add something constructive too. Norm has a point, who'd notice if we made them redundant?

    If they could just take due responsibility for your Dad's care and remove some of the practical pressures that would be a start. It's one thing to have to look out for yourself which is quite enough. Their failure is a disgrace. It infuriates me to boiling point. Everyone I read is on a waiting list, or has been let down, or abandoned or basically left to get on with it alone. Makes me wonder is it time for a rebellion of some sort?

    The cards and the creativity are joyful escapism. It's a bright bit of colour in the emotional gloom and everyone needs something uplifting. They make me smile! Me, now I escape onto a patch of mud with a spade or sit and stitch away an evening, we're a resourceful bunch for sure. X

    I wonder if the MHS ever read blogs? Perhaps they should?!

  3. Norm

    I think you are right about heartfelt pleas to save their jobs under the pretext of them providing essential services. Not sure to whom though?????

  4. Hi CC

    If they could actually communicate effectively that would be one small step to putting things right.

    Yesterday, my dad got a photocopy of a letter (posted to him..and in his name)saying that he had to attend an appointment later in July. It didn't explain what the appointment was about nor did it include the necessary form Dad has to fillin to take along to the appointment. I have to wonder what happened to the original??? I have to wonder at how inept a service has to become before it ceases to be a service.

    I reckon at present...a service can run in utter chaos and still proclaim itself to be a top quality provider. Ha! My arse!

    Do MHS ever read these kind of posts? I think they used to but prefer to read posts telling them what wonderful jobs they are doing.

    Well, when I see these wonderful services, I will start to post about them. I don't think anyone should hold their breath, though.

    Glad your allotment and needlecraft bring you escapism. Yesterday, it was a toss up between spending day in bed or mowing the front lawn. I had a surge of wanting to do something useful so the lawn got due attention.

    Oh and I made a couple of new cards.