Was going to write up the most relevant bits of my yesterday, today but it has been a busy day and have almost forgotten what went down yesterday...except I got some blue streaks glued (yes, you read it right) into my hair.
I also got to a craft fair last night. In spite of being really wobbly (manic wobbly) all day. Didn't make much money. Not that I make cards as a business venture..is more to pass the time and do something creative but having forked out £5 on petrol to get us there, I came out making around £2. That will do for me. Is better than being out of pocket. A total of around 20 people bothered to turn up to the fair...I think the advertisting of it wasn't a priority until the event!!!! But had fun doing the C Word quiz and the visits back and forth to the cake stall.
Last night..as in late last night was on one. I know because I was still writing lists at 4.00 am! I listed all the days in November and then December. I wrote lists of cards made, food to buy, music I like. Even wrote a list of what I could buy if I had to live on £20 a week. After finishing off my on line order (that I have actually budgetted down to £10 less) and realising dawn was imminent, dropped a loz.
Came to at 11.30 am to phone ringing. Em (love it when she calls). Rang Dr J. Long story, but he doesn't mix well with teenagers ..even ones who are nearly at the end of their teens. Not sure he mixes too well with anyone!!!! Anyway, that is a story for another time. He decided he would leave it till after Em has left to come round. Was a bit sulky about it. I thought "Get over it, this is my daughter we are talking about".
I did a bit of frenzied housework, walked to local shops, popped in friends for cuppa and then came home in time for Em and her fella's arrival.
Was a really good vibe. We chatted everyday stuff, drank tea, ate cake and listened to Adam and The Ants followed by Nirvana's 'Bleach' album (is top dog music that). Then we headed round to see Dad with a tub of cakes I bought back from the fair.
We were there about 10 minutes when Dr J rang..having morphed into the Incredible Hulk. Sounded totally disorientated and then he started f'ing and blinding. He was at my front door, pissed up and some local youths were taking the mickey out of him.
Made apologies to Dad (with promise to return and spend a few hours with him tomorrow) and headed back. Em and fella (wisely) decided to go to MacDonald's for munchies whilst I ushered a very green man inside. One thing I cannot stand and I mean is in my top ten list of things I hate...is pissed up people talking shit, knocking over things and acting like the village idiot. After the 20th time of him telling me he loved me, and the fekk knows how many times he asked me the same questions over and over (whilst I gritted my teeth and resisted the temptation to go and get the bread knife and stab him) breathed a massive sigh of relief when he fell asleep on the sofa.
He is still there, now, and I am not religeous but am close to praying he doesn't wake up till tomorrow.
At least, I got to watch 'Strictly' and as much as I like Christine (don't know her last name but smiles alot) there is something about her dancing that reminds me of a rag doll???..not that I can talk. My dancing is very ooh-err-ish and usually fuelled by manic energy.
Now have chill time (yeeha!). Think I might update my MP3 player..and so far so good on the loz front. After a couple of days of heavy usage am cutting back again. So far ,today, have only taken 3/4 of a tablet and still no sign of needing a top up :>)
Loose link to Em ringing...this song comes to mind, although she calls me enough:
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Friday, 28 November 2008
Chattering Monkeys and Dog Tired
Didn't get on my blog yesterday.
Awoke to text from friend who needed some attention. Spent a couple of hours with them(mostly fighting off a headache). No disrespect but why am I doing MH services jobs for them? And when do I get the pay cheque?
I felt totally rank really and had the mission to post the letter to the council. Bit of a priority trying to get my housing benefit re-instated. A lot more than a bit of a concern that these systems seem hell bent on punishing the ill. I do fear that (especially in this credit crunch) the mentally ill will be the whipping boys and girls. Will cross the next paper drenched bridge when I come to it and am contemplating looking at the disability discrimination act in regards to how government bodies treat the mentally ill. I don't understand how they work, only that they seem to hound me alot. Perhaps that is why these organisations are set up..to make everything so difficult that only the most devious or able can get things from them (as in proper services). then again, I am a worm aren't I? Wiggling around in the mud!!!
Animal references seem to be my order of the day.
Anyway, dragged myself to the post box and saw Dad in the local shop. Was chuffed that he'd managed to get out and he got some fish and chips from the shop. Perhaps my quote of the day should be "All is not lost if you can still make it to the chippy".
Took his washing round later...but felt like migraine was imminent. Dropped a tabby. At Dad's got text from another friend (which on another day wouldn't have phased me) and I felt like everything was coming on on me. Like i had gone beyond my cut off point and it was like chattering monkeys surrounded me.
Panic attacked all the way back from Dad's and was relieved to get home. Dropped half a loz (my third of the day) and ignored the phone and tried to logic my way through but I felt totally fekked.
Tried making cards,playing music, deep breathing etc blah blah. Nothing worked and by 10.00pm was climbing the walls so took another half a loz and finally, mercifully, got some sleep.
Today, is official card making day but I am in damage limitation mode. I want peace and zilch demands.
Awoke to text from friend who needed some attention. Spent a couple of hours with them(mostly fighting off a headache). No disrespect but why am I doing MH services jobs for them? And when do I get the pay cheque?
I felt totally rank really and had the mission to post the letter to the council. Bit of a priority trying to get my housing benefit re-instated. A lot more than a bit of a concern that these systems seem hell bent on punishing the ill. I do fear that (especially in this credit crunch) the mentally ill will be the whipping boys and girls. Will cross the next paper drenched bridge when I come to it and am contemplating looking at the disability discrimination act in regards to how government bodies treat the mentally ill. I don't understand how they work, only that they seem to hound me alot. Perhaps that is why these organisations are set up..to make everything so difficult that only the most devious or able can get things from them (as in proper services). then again, I am a worm aren't I? Wiggling around in the mud!!!
Animal references seem to be my order of the day.
Anyway, dragged myself to the post box and saw Dad in the local shop. Was chuffed that he'd managed to get out and he got some fish and chips from the shop. Perhaps my quote of the day should be "All is not lost if you can still make it to the chippy".
Took his washing round later...but felt like migraine was imminent. Dropped a tabby. At Dad's got text from another friend (which on another day wouldn't have phased me) and I felt like everything was coming on on me. Like i had gone beyond my cut off point and it was like chattering monkeys surrounded me.
Panic attacked all the way back from Dad's and was relieved to get home. Dropped half a loz (my third of the day) and ignored the phone and tried to logic my way through but I felt totally fekked.
Tried making cards,playing music, deep breathing etc blah blah. Nothing worked and by 10.00pm was climbing the walls so took another half a loz and finally, mercifully, got some sleep.
Today, is official card making day but I am in damage limitation mode. I want peace and zilch demands.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Morphing Abounds
Have been to the doc spot and have been re-diagnosed and I have an infection, not Shingles. Of the 2, the former is more pallatable to me (and hopefully won't take so long to recover from. Got a supply of antibiotics and a box of Turkish delight (the sweets are a treat to myself for perceverance).
On the really positive side of the spectrum, I got a bus back from town to home, by myself (after doing a bit of shopping). I can't say why or how I am managing to do this but something inside me is determined to have a go at overcoming the agoraphobia. However long it takes is fine by me, as long as I make progress along the way.
Other stuff of sort of interest - Was at Dr J's last night and we watched the Man U (international) match. I am not a big footie fan but have started to pay attention more of late because Dad listens to matches on his radio and is something we can talk about and share. It was one of the most boring matches I have seen, ending in a 0-0 draw. For top quality (supposed) clubs, people paying for tickets to go there (including the travel for Man U fans) must have felt they were sold down river.
The rest of my today is going to consist of catching up on Dad's and my washing, comfort eating and searching for a good movie on tv.
On the really positive side of the spectrum, I got a bus back from town to home, by myself (after doing a bit of shopping). I can't say why or how I am managing to do this but something inside me is determined to have a go at overcoming the agoraphobia. However long it takes is fine by me, as long as I make progress along the way.
Other stuff of sort of interest - Was at Dr J's last night and we watched the Man U (international) match. I am not a big footie fan but have started to pay attention more of late because Dad listens to matches on his radio and is something we can talk about and share. It was one of the most boring matches I have seen, ending in a 0-0 draw. For top quality (supposed) clubs, people paying for tickets to go there (including the travel for Man U fans) must have felt they were sold down river.
The rest of my today is going to consist of catching up on Dad's and my washing, comfort eating and searching for a good movie on tv.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Possibly Useful Support Meeting
Went round Dad's for the support meeting with his housing officer (a thoroughly good egg to boot).
As we went through things, it became clear to the housing officer, that the paperwork had no section for people with mental health problems. I wasn't surprised about that but she will be getting the paperwork updated to include that. Alot of the sections on the existing paperwork could only partly be completed due to needing to add in information about Dad's disability and how that impacts on his day to day life.
The really positive thing that has finally started to be addressed is transport issues Dad has when he has to get somewhere. The MH staff are not insured to take him, and, if I am poorly, then I can't get him there. Housing Officer will be looking into ways to get transport in place when it is needed. Hoo fekkin ray!
Have come away from meeting feeling that, if she stands by her word, then certain blockages in regards to Dad's care support needs will be overcome. I am never overly optimistic because many is the time I have been offered services and support for it not to materialize. But meeting went better, by far, than it could have gone.
Can now chill out.
As we went through things, it became clear to the housing officer, that the paperwork had no section for people with mental health problems. I wasn't surprised about that but she will be getting the paperwork updated to include that. Alot of the sections on the existing paperwork could only partly be completed due to needing to add in information about Dad's disability and how that impacts on his day to day life.
The really positive thing that has finally started to be addressed is transport issues Dad has when he has to get somewhere. The MH staff are not insured to take him, and, if I am poorly, then I can't get him there. Housing Officer will be looking into ways to get transport in place when it is needed. Hoo fekkin ray!
Have come away from meeting feeling that, if she stands by her word, then certain blockages in regards to Dad's care support needs will be overcome. I am never overly optimistic because many is the time I have been offered services and support for it not to materialize. But meeting went better, by far, than it could have gone.
Can now chill out.
The Entrapment of Free Spirits
Wrote this title because have been thinking...about my illness and the continual chain of physical debilitation I am suffering. I also got a bit pre-occupied (but only a bit) with yesterday's interview and thought is there a level of arrogance about me? Answer to that is maybe but, particularly in regards to my reticence in doing any more media type activities, is more that I don't want to be boxed into anything.
There is a free spirit inside me. Sadly, she is tied up most of the time..either trying to maintain some kind of acceptable (to me) mental state or trying to deal with one physical problem after another...and in amongst that doing her best to encourage and support a father to keep going. Not forgetting her daughter, who although is doing her thing, still needs her Mum in contact and to sound off to when necessary. Argggh!
So whatever energy and space there is left for my free spirit, I want to keep it as free as possible.
A one off activity.. and infrequently... relating to something I either feel strongly about, find interesting (or both) is fine but the thought of BEING/FEELING OBLIGED to get involved is not my bag.
I am not (mercifully) being bombarded with offers of interviews, conferences, presentations etc. I have done the rounds of group participation, giving speeches and busying myself in things that ultimately led to fekk all. Like a treadmill of good works that go nowhere!!!
I very much prefer to be proactively detached from most of what goes on in the system and most things are all about the system or lead back there. YAK!
So...as much as Lareve (and bless you, Lareve, for thinking that I would be up to such a charge) can see me as a kind of advocate for service users. I would last about half a day, before some bureaucrat would twat me off and I would use terminology most un-beffiting of someone with that level of responsibility. Ha!
And this fekkin' virus is not playing ball with the medication!!!! My tablets run out tomorrow so it will be another round of back to the doc spot for further advice and probably stronger meds. Whoopie doo!
For those who cannot watch animal cruelty, please don't watch the next video. Reality leaves a poor taste in the mouth but, for some, the reality is not a personal choice:
There is a free spirit inside me. Sadly, she is tied up most of the time..either trying to maintain some kind of acceptable (to me) mental state or trying to deal with one physical problem after another...and in amongst that doing her best to encourage and support a father to keep going. Not forgetting her daughter, who although is doing her thing, still needs her Mum in contact and to sound off to when necessary. Argggh!
So whatever energy and space there is left for my free spirit, I want to keep it as free as possible.
A one off activity.. and infrequently... relating to something I either feel strongly about, find interesting (or both) is fine but the thought of BEING/FEELING OBLIGED to get involved is not my bag.
I am not (mercifully) being bombarded with offers of interviews, conferences, presentations etc. I have done the rounds of group participation, giving speeches and busying myself in things that ultimately led to fekk all. Like a treadmill of good works that go nowhere!!!
I very much prefer to be proactively detached from most of what goes on in the system and most things are all about the system or lead back there. YAK!
So...as much as Lareve (and bless you, Lareve, for thinking that I would be up to such a charge) can see me as a kind of advocate for service users. I would last about half a day, before some bureaucrat would twat me off and I would use terminology most un-beffiting of someone with that level of responsibility. Ha!
And this fekkin' virus is not playing ball with the medication!!!! My tablets run out tomorrow so it will be another round of back to the doc spot for further advice and probably stronger meds. Whoopie doo!
For those who cannot watch animal cruelty, please don't watch the next video. Reality leaves a poor taste in the mouth but, for some, the reality is not a personal choice:
Monday, 24 November 2008
Been There and Done It...so where's me t shirt?
I think I might have a t shirt obsession. Another one to add to the collection!!!
In spite of virus, and almost going freak out in the taxi on the way, I got to the radio station....an hour early.
Dr Jekyll, kindly, accompanied me. I was impressed by his efforts as he suffers severe paranoia and going to places he doesn't know aggrevates paranoid states in him. So fair play to Dr J, I say!
Got a nice mug of tea from the receptionist whilst the pair of us sat and read the magazines (which varied from Trainspotting to Disability Rights).
I was ushered through to the recording room around 11.20. Dr J declined to go with me and headed off for a ciggie. It wasn't at all what I expected. I thought I was actually going to be interviewed by a person in the same room as me. Whilst I waited to be connected through to other people (those interviewing and Seanean being interviewed, somewhere else)I looked around the room. Was a bit bizarre, there were boxes and mikes and some kind of telephone system on the desk in front of me and to the side of me some sort of storage system and a kid's trike. That struck me as novel and I told the receptionist that if I got bored, waiting to go on air, I could always whizz round the room on that.
I haven't got a clue whether I said anything that anyone else might find relevant. I was asked, at one point, to move back from the mike. I haven't got the daintiest of voices and was most probably bellowing out (apologies to those involved for any perforated ear drums).
I hadn't prepared (wasn't even sure what to prepare for) so winged it...as in responded to questions with whatever came to mind at the time. That most probably suited me better. I had kinda put the interview to the back of my mind...and more so because wasn't even sure I would be up to it on the day. With mental illness there aren't always obvious triggers for not being able to handle things on a particular day and my physical state hasn't been condusive to proactive involvement in things outside my comfort zone. I consider it an achievement to have got there and without having severe panic attacks before, during or after.
The experience was quite interesting to me. Having a kind of 3 way convo...although I would have much preferred to have someone in the room asking me the questions. I did feel like I could have been talking to people from a space base on Mars (most likely came across that way too...good luck to whoever is doing the editing) but wasn't really that spooked by it. I actually found it a bit comical.
For those interested in listening to my warblings the Radio 4 Programme will go out on Tuesday, December 2nd at 21.00 hours, repeated on Wednesday, December 3rd at 16.30The podcast will be available on the link below:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/allinthemind.shtml
So now, home and back to my reality, which consists of a rather abrupt letter from the local council, informing me they have stopped my housing benefit until they get a letter from me explaining when I stopped getting tax credits and child benefit. Even though the tax office informed them of those dates, already...and the formal request for a letter from Em's uni confirming she is a student there. I could get worried about this but I am not. The way I see it, these systems are incompetent and run by people who appear incompetent and if push comes to shove I will ask them why they have to pressure people with illness over piss poor communications between government departments. Obviously, I will do that in a manner befitting formal communications (will swap 'piss poor' for inadequate).
And it is time for a cuppa, a cig and a slob out to some tunes. Thanks, again, to Dr J, I now know how to download songs on to my MP3 Player. My favourite is Michael Jackson's 'Stranger in Moscow' (which bares some relevance to how I felt in that studio room today) but is not allowed to be embedded from You tube so have gone for this. Which is Pink doing it for us girls who go, for reasons that may well be our own destruction, for relevant others who don't come with fancy cars and talk to match!!!
In spite of virus, and almost going freak out in the taxi on the way, I got to the radio station....an hour early.
Dr Jekyll, kindly, accompanied me. I was impressed by his efforts as he suffers severe paranoia and going to places he doesn't know aggrevates paranoid states in him. So fair play to Dr J, I say!
Got a nice mug of tea from the receptionist whilst the pair of us sat and read the magazines (which varied from Trainspotting to Disability Rights).
I was ushered through to the recording room around 11.20. Dr J declined to go with me and headed off for a ciggie. It wasn't at all what I expected. I thought I was actually going to be interviewed by a person in the same room as me. Whilst I waited to be connected through to other people (those interviewing and Seanean being interviewed, somewhere else)I looked around the room. Was a bit bizarre, there were boxes and mikes and some kind of telephone system on the desk in front of me and to the side of me some sort of storage system and a kid's trike. That struck me as novel and I told the receptionist that if I got bored, waiting to go on air, I could always whizz round the room on that.
I haven't got a clue whether I said anything that anyone else might find relevant. I was asked, at one point, to move back from the mike. I haven't got the daintiest of voices and was most probably bellowing out (apologies to those involved for any perforated ear drums).
I hadn't prepared (wasn't even sure what to prepare for) so winged it...as in responded to questions with whatever came to mind at the time. That most probably suited me better. I had kinda put the interview to the back of my mind...and more so because wasn't even sure I would be up to it on the day. With mental illness there aren't always obvious triggers for not being able to handle things on a particular day and my physical state hasn't been condusive to proactive involvement in things outside my comfort zone. I consider it an achievement to have got there and without having severe panic attacks before, during or after.
The experience was quite interesting to me. Having a kind of 3 way convo...although I would have much preferred to have someone in the room asking me the questions. I did feel like I could have been talking to people from a space base on Mars (most likely came across that way too...good luck to whoever is doing the editing) but wasn't really that spooked by it. I actually found it a bit comical.
For those interested in listening to my warblings the Radio 4 Programme will go out on Tuesday, December 2nd at 21.00 hours, repeated on Wednesday, December 3rd at 16.30The podcast will be available on the link below:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/science/allinthemind.shtml
So now, home and back to my reality, which consists of a rather abrupt letter from the local council, informing me they have stopped my housing benefit until they get a letter from me explaining when I stopped getting tax credits and child benefit. Even though the tax office informed them of those dates, already...and the formal request for a letter from Em's uni confirming she is a student there. I could get worried about this but I am not. The way I see it, these systems are incompetent and run by people who appear incompetent and if push comes to shove I will ask them why they have to pressure people with illness over piss poor communications between government departments. Obviously, I will do that in a manner befitting formal communications (will swap 'piss poor' for inadequate).
And it is time for a cuppa, a cig and a slob out to some tunes. Thanks, again, to Dr J, I now know how to download songs on to my MP3 Player. My favourite is Michael Jackson's 'Stranger in Moscow' (which bares some relevance to how I felt in that studio room today) but is not allowed to be embedded from You tube so have gone for this. Which is Pink doing it for us girls who go, for reasons that may well be our own destruction, for relevant others who don't come with fancy cars and talk to match!!!
Sunday, 23 November 2008
It was all Go, Go, Go and am glad it has gone!
Interesting appointment at out of hours GP surgery at hospital, yesterday.
And before I get back to the plot, isn't it interesting how the term interesting is now used in place of more direct and honest words or terms? I see it alot on tv. When the politically correct don't feel able to express what they truly mean(the chicken shits), they say it is interesting!!!! Hmmm
So I shall rephrase my first sentence, I had a challenging appointment at the hospital yesterday and not just because I had to get there and back. Thankfully, Dr Jekyll was in good spirits and willing to accompany me. NB, before anyone starts thinking that I am being derogatory to Dr Jekyll and he has no say in the matter. I told him what my new names are for him, he laughed and said "You tell it how it is". Which, apart from the most intimate and private of my thoughts and existance I do. Some things are for the person alone!
Anyway, I arrived about 10 minutes before appointment and was directed to the minor injuries section of A&E. Started to get a bit freaked because I didn't feel it appropriate that an out of hours GP surgery should be combined with a casualty department where people are walking in (obviously in urgent need) and waiting in the same area. Maybe a minor issue for others but not for me.
Waited about 30 minutes and was called into the minor treatment ward. Started getting more spooked because it was all curtained sections and I didn't want to discuss my symptoms in an open area (curtained off or not). Thankfully, was taken to a room. Phewee.
I had a problem understanding what the doctor was saying to me, as he prodded and poked me about. I think, but am not sure, he was Eastern European and am not dissing immigrants but would be more beneficial (and certainly when I am trying to work out what is going on) if people wishing to work in this country could speak the language to adequate levels of comprehension. Thankfully, there was a nurse present who was playing translator so I managed to clock that there was more going on in my body than first anticipated (although am still not 100% sure what it all means).
Came away with a prescription for shingles. 800mg of anti virals (to be taken 3 times a day). Butt kicking stuff it is.
I was, actually, just bloody relieved to get out of there and trying to save money I couldn't really afford in getting there, decided we should get the bus back into town to collect prescription. Cost me £3.40 for 2 people to go 1 mile on a bus. It would have only cost me 10p more to get a taxi (lesson learnt). As in, when going to and from the hospital...much less stress and almost as cheap as public transport to use taxi!!!
Got prescription and then used bus from town to home which did work out cheaper than using a taxi (about £1.50 saved) but I have to wonder at the government's view (or at least propaganda is pushes out) that people should use public transport more. Why should they? When it is unreliable, overcrowded and too expensive!!! Make it a viable alternative to cars and taxis and then more people will not be able to honestly justify why they don't use it. I feel sorry for anyone who has to public transport because as a public service (sets of) it sucks!
Rant over...was relieved to get home and although the tablets are coming with some dodgy side effects (nausea which is abated when I take a bit of lorazepam and feeling woozy), I am certainly feeling the benefits outweigh the negatives. Am trying to work it that I take my lorazepam around when I take the new meds so don't feel negative side effects so badly.....and, yesterday, I still only took 1 lorazepam all day. Am quite chuffed with myself.
So on with the day and going to hunt that bontempi organ out and play a few bars of "I Just Can't Get Enough".
And before I get back to the plot, isn't it interesting how the term interesting is now used in place of more direct and honest words or terms? I see it alot on tv. When the politically correct don't feel able to express what they truly mean(the chicken shits), they say it is interesting!!!! Hmmm
So I shall rephrase my first sentence, I had a challenging appointment at the hospital yesterday and not just because I had to get there and back. Thankfully, Dr Jekyll was in good spirits and willing to accompany me. NB, before anyone starts thinking that I am being derogatory to Dr Jekyll and he has no say in the matter. I told him what my new names are for him, he laughed and said "You tell it how it is". Which, apart from the most intimate and private of my thoughts and existance I do. Some things are for the person alone!
Anyway, I arrived about 10 minutes before appointment and was directed to the minor injuries section of A&E. Started to get a bit freaked because I didn't feel it appropriate that an out of hours GP surgery should be combined with a casualty department where people are walking in (obviously in urgent need) and waiting in the same area. Maybe a minor issue for others but not for me.
Waited about 30 minutes and was called into the minor treatment ward. Started getting more spooked because it was all curtained sections and I didn't want to discuss my symptoms in an open area (curtained off or not). Thankfully, was taken to a room. Phewee.
I had a problem understanding what the doctor was saying to me, as he prodded and poked me about. I think, but am not sure, he was Eastern European and am not dissing immigrants but would be more beneficial (and certainly when I am trying to work out what is going on) if people wishing to work in this country could speak the language to adequate levels of comprehension. Thankfully, there was a nurse present who was playing translator so I managed to clock that there was more going on in my body than first anticipated (although am still not 100% sure what it all means).
Came away with a prescription for shingles. 800mg of anti virals (to be taken 3 times a day). Butt kicking stuff it is.
I was, actually, just bloody relieved to get out of there and trying to save money I couldn't really afford in getting there, decided we should get the bus back into town to collect prescription. Cost me £3.40 for 2 people to go 1 mile on a bus. It would have only cost me 10p more to get a taxi (lesson learnt). As in, when going to and from the hospital...much less stress and almost as cheap as public transport to use taxi!!!
Got prescription and then used bus from town to home which did work out cheaper than using a taxi (about £1.50 saved) but I have to wonder at the government's view (or at least propaganda is pushes out) that people should use public transport more. Why should they? When it is unreliable, overcrowded and too expensive!!! Make it a viable alternative to cars and taxis and then more people will not be able to honestly justify why they don't use it. I feel sorry for anyone who has to public transport because as a public service (sets of) it sucks!
Rant over...was relieved to get home and although the tablets are coming with some dodgy side effects (nausea which is abated when I take a bit of lorazepam and feeling woozy), I am certainly feeling the benefits outweigh the negatives. Am trying to work it that I take my lorazepam around when I take the new meds so don't feel negative side effects so badly.....and, yesterday, I still only took 1 lorazepam all day. Am quite chuffed with myself.
So on with the day and going to hunt that bontempi organ out and play a few bars of "I Just Can't Get Enough".
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