tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84363068964486679182024-03-06T05:32:48.384+00:00THIS IS A TROLL FREE ZONEA one woman protest againt the Natzi Coalition and Labour Oppostion (which constitutes no opposition whatsoever), the rise and rise of power of financial sector with ever declining moral or legal boundaries to stop that happening and blogger's complete understanding of shit happening far too often to those least able to handle it!!!!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.comBlogger407125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-63096816572464878212011-04-13T16:12:00.003+01:002011-04-13T16:28:02.183+01:00'One in Four Organisation'...just another group of self proclaimed messiahs?From www.oneinfourmag.org<br /><br />"'What do we do now?' - Mental health, user leadership and communities <br />One in Four conference 16th March"<br /><br />Firstly, my advice is to go have a look for yourselves. <br /><br />My view is what we have is another little clique that sets itself up as some 'expert group'..charging those who can least afford it...even if they are giving a concession to service users. £35 plus travel expenses, is alot to ask of people on the lowest incomes in the country!<br /><br />How many groups have come before this. Remember the fanfare of spin that came from The National Service User Network (NSUN) and all that dosh they got from Comic Relief and Kings College Fund?. And what exactly has happened to them since, have they made any difference to the lives of people with severe MH problems and where did all that money go?<br /><br />I know the media (as an entirity) doesn't like discussing mental illness unless it is some headline grabbing story of someone with mental illness running riot with a machete or some half cock theory on 'recovering the mentally ill through work' but surely fraud would be of some interest to them. Possibly 'The Guardian' that has finally jumped off the Happy Clappy bandwagon and started thinking a bit more independantly about what it is like to be mentally ill and the first to be facing the government firing line for no other reason than being mentally ill.<br /><br />Just where is all the money, that these pseudo MH profs/organisations get, end up? I really think it is time people were told and the media would be best able to get in there and find out...and then share what they find out with the rest of us. Actually, maybe their heart just isn't in it. Mental illness isn't sexy enough. Hmmm..someone/people..somewhere must be able to access this information and get it out there.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-4340627576755775852011-03-29T19:12:00.000+01:002011-03-29T19:13:31.626+01:00From Rethink site...Report by CQCThe latest report by the Care Quality Commission on the state of healthcare and adult social care, published today, shows that the standards of care for people with mental illness are patchy at best, and neglectful at worst, says charity, Rethink Mental Illness. <br /><br />Despite people with mental illness being at greater risk of physical health problems such as heart disease, diabetes and stroke, more than a third had not received enough support for their physical health needs and 27 per cent said they had, but only ‘to some extent’.<br /><br />Despite regular reviews of medication being an indicator of good care, one fifth (19 per cent) had not been asked or couldn’t remember being asked about their medicine for 12 months or longer.<br /><br />Rethink Mental Illness chief executive, Paul Jenkins, said: “Some of the figures in the CQC report make for grim reading. People with serious mental illness are among the most vulnerable in society and they are not getting the quality of care they need and deserve. <br /><br />“With increasing numbers of people with mental illness receiving support in the community, access to crisis support is essential. Only just over half of the survey respondents (56 per cent) had an out-of-hours telephone number they could call despite the fact that of those people who did have a number, more than a third had called it in the last 12 months. It is vital that people have the support and help they need to avoid someone’s mental health deteriorating to the point of crisis,” he said.<br /><br />Rethink Mental Illness is also concerned about people detained under the Mental Health Act. Its concerns about inadequate staffing and over crowded wards - only 21 per cent of the acute wards visited met the recommended 85 per cent bed occupancy – are reinforced by this report. <br /><br />“We have also long been concerned about people on control orders, whose rights are deprived simply because they are ill and have called on Government to review the whole system. The report shows that the rate of new CTO’s averages nearly 370 a month – way ahead of initial estimates and we welcome the CQC’s further study of these,” says Paul Jenkins.<br /><br />“It is heartening to see that the majority of people using community mental health services are positive about their contact with staff and this is certainly our own experience. However, what this report clearly shows there is an urgent need for action to drive up standards of care across the board and to ensure that the quality of mental health care is not the luck of the geographical draw,” said Paul Jenkins. <br /><br /><br />For more information, or to set up an interview please call Elaine Calvert, media relations manager, at Rethink on 020 7840 3132.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-84511710982862074132011-03-29T18:49:00.002+01:002011-03-29T18:57:27.914+01:00Latest Rethink Survey...Nothing New There, I am AfraidWhilst straggling around Facebook (feeling like half frozen plate of piddle waiting to be flushed down the lavvy) came across a fleeting post about Rethink's latest survey.<br /><br />Such as I gathered, before the post was deleted, quite possibly due to my comments around this not being new news at all but same old, same as....Rethink have found that most modern acute units are overcrowded.<br /><br />FFS!!! How long ago was it ago that Mind did a similar survey and the outcomes were like this. Was it five years? Could be even longer.<br /><br />Wish I could get hold of the survey to see what else it included....possibly things like:<br /><br />Patients being left crying in the middle of reception areas, whilst visitors try and pacify them<br /><br />People on detox for drug addiction stealing from other patients (and before people think I have total attitude towards drug addiction, I don't but I do think there is a strong case for focussed and specific rehab centres for addicts)<br /><br />The high levels of violent behaviour, often aimed at other patients in acute care. <br /><br />If I do manage to get hold of the survey, will copy details (such as they are) on here.<br /><br />Can't help thinking that the next 'independant' survey on acute care...say 5 years down the line..will be saying the same thing or even worse.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-27388599055820609542011-03-28T22:39:00.002+01:002011-03-28T22:42:24.813+01:00Seems Ed Milliband (and 7 Labour MPs) do care about the sick and disabled.....so what now?From> BenefitsandWork.co.uk<br /><br />One very last chance for you to stop the harsh new ESA test <br /><br /><br />In spite of the fact that the harsh new work capability assessment (WCA), the medical test for employment and support allowance (ESA), became law today, there is still a chance of getting it cancelled. <br /><br />But it does depend on you urgently attempting to persuade your MP to get off their . . . seat and do something useful before they go off on their Easter holidays next week.<br /><br />Labour leader Ed Miliband and 7 Labour MPs tabled an early day motion on 23 March ‘praying’ for the new WCA to be annulled. New regulations like these can be overturned by a vote for up to 40 days after they were laid. Because the DWP messed up the laying of the regulations and had to lay them again, the 40 days does not run out until 6 April.<br /><br />There is a huge irony in the labour party challenging the harsh new WCA when they actually drew it up themselves, but didn’t have time to implement it before being booted out of power. The line labour is taking to justify their u-turn is that the recommendations in the Harrington report should be implemented before any consideration is given to further changes to ESA. <br /><br />And, whatever the reason for labour’s change of tactic, there is a chance that there could be a debate, a slim possibility there could be a vote and a tiny chance that the government could be defeated. We know that a similar process in the House of Lords ended in feeble surrender last week, but a tiny chance is better than no hope whatsoever.<br /><br />So, please consider contacting your MP as a matter of urgency and ask them to support EDM 1651 to try to halt this shameful new test which discriminates against many seriously sick and disabled claimants including, for example, blind people with guide dogs.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-81451183525891611292011-03-28T22:04:00.006+01:002011-03-28T22:33:22.189+01:00'Care Home Kids'....Neil Morrissey braves his past<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObIt2AXmBsmOWerJEuGhSEncTB3TYrwC8JAFpLeqkBbooafHj5vcV2mKJW3e3CMoQObzg93VMopO5-S8M0nRRL1-z_Xq_7_oPY6ztZIRYtBv3fkCtGqvPzVLZMU5bBwz4PhlslMTilfQ/s1600/Care+home+kid.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 275px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObIt2AXmBsmOWerJEuGhSEncTB3TYrwC8JAFpLeqkBbooafHj5vcV2mKJW3e3CMoQObzg93VMopO5-S8M0nRRL1-z_Xq_7_oPY6ztZIRYtBv3fkCtGqvPzVLZMU5bBwz4PhlslMTilfQ/s400/Care+home+kid.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589243746056223810" /></a><br /><br /><br />Just finished watching Part 1 of 'Care Home Kids'(Beeb 4). It focussed mainly on Neil Morrissey wanting to find out why he and his brother ended up in care but as his investigations unravelled, he met up with several other people who had been either in the same care home as he had or the one his brother had been sent to.<br /><br />He seems to have got off quite lightly, and that sounds almost like he shouldn't have...what I mean is thankfully, he didn't go through what many other children had to because, it is clear from what other people in the programme were saying, that the levels of abuse (both physically and mentally) were off the scale. I can never get my head round why the most uncaring and brutal of people seem to be in positions of great power over children..and how that is allowed to continue. Certainly back in the 70's and 80's abuse seems to have been rife in childrens' care homes in the UK. <br /><br />Hmmm...got so many (bad) feelings running around me now is hard to keep any focus on this but what seems to be the biggest concern for Neil Morrissy is finding out if his brother (no longer alive)suffered the horrors that other children in that specific care home (think it was called 'Riverside') did. He says his bother never mentioned anything like that on the rare visits home, they both shared. However, I think that is more a testament to the 'closetted' environment he was kept in and maybe an early understanding he got that children in care homes were not valued in by anyone (including councils, governments, the media and society at large).<br /><br />In the second programme (same time, same channel..next week) he, Neil, will be looking at modern care homes to see what has changed, if anything, for the better and what happens when the obligatory stay at care homes ends and teenagers are no longer the responsibility of the care home. As in what help, if any, is there and where they go from care.<br /><br />I think this programme warranted a higher priority than it was given. I am not poo-pooing Beeb 4 but this is such a serious issue...it is so important within modern society and for people who have been, or are still in care homes, that it should be shown on BBC 1. We need to keep this out of the closet and keep making it main stream!!!<br /><br />Just checked....the next showing is 31 March, Beeb 2, 9.00 pmThat's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-41698490476165007992011-03-28T16:55:00.002+01:002011-03-28T17:08:16.146+01:00"Look Whose Talking" (now)<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpbu9YeVN9QUjoXnbvUiQBoYF1scSc3avjszRu5Hq49o5_MiuoT_IQ1GYKrvfki77LeloSEiv6OqiFhOHMRl30ue9qf6F45_nX-NuK1Aamh8EnprYNsPM1ZIKCn9c0ighmQnm_D-H9v_g/s1600/look+whose+talking.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 80px; height: 50px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpbu9YeVN9QUjoXnbvUiQBoYF1scSc3avjszRu5Hq49o5_MiuoT_IQ1GYKrvfki77LeloSEiv6OqiFhOHMRl30ue9qf6F45_nX-NuK1Aamh8EnprYNsPM1ZIKCn9c0ighmQnm_D-H9v_g/s400/look+whose+talking.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5589160407564265442" /></a><br /><br />Have just responded (on Facebook) to Broken of Britain's comment about Ed Milliband..and yeah, okay, I got his name wrong last time. Shows what great impact this man has had on my thinking that!!!!<br /><br />Seems he is being attacked for speaking at the protests that took place in London on Saturday. Before I write anything further, want to give out maximum respect to those who attended (those that could) and showed they cared about what is being done to this country. I gather there was alot of virtual protesting going on too (by those who, like me, were unable to attend in person). Fair play to them as well.<br /><br />I couldn't participate on the day as I had my father home and he needs pretty constant monitoring. He is still apt to trip/fall over. What with that, a malfunctioning hair dye that took lumps of skin off me scalp and left me feeling very nauseus ...and a trip to the zoo with Em (which was kind of her and I am only sorry that I was too tired to fully appreciate the wonderful company and beautiful animals there)..am slaughtered..and heavy sedated here.<br /><br />Anyway, back to Ed Milliband. I don't have a problem with him speaking at a protest rally. What I have a problem with is how late in the day he has left it to try and make any kind of stand. I thought he was actually planning to rest on his laurels with high possibility of Labour being voted into government in 4 years time. <br /><br />So he went and he spoke...and it amounted to "Labour would be making cuts but not such severe ones". Do I believe it? I have my doubts...based on fact that it was the previous Labour Government that bought ATOS onto the scene. Yep, The Coalition may be using this organisation to maximum effect in regards to hammering the disabled of Britain but the Labour Party opened the door and let ATOS in!!! <br /><br />The seeds of the brutalisation of disabled people were planted by the Labour Party!!!!<br /><br />From where I sit what I gather is that The Labour Party, with Mr Milliband at the helm, need to be more honest about what they would be doing if they were in government now...and what, if anything, their elected MP's are doing NOW to stop the damage being done.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-84505404422655449632011-03-21T19:18:00.004+00:002011-03-21T19:39:18.412+00:00What this country needs is strong opposition partiesWhat it's got is David Milliband and although I think The Green Party are doing their best (well in certain aspects of their counter arguments)they are so few in numbers they get drowned out by the 'guffawing baffoons'.<br /><br />Was it Dennis Healey, when asked about his opposite number's responses to his speech said "It was like being mawled by a sheep". That is what Cameron must think of Milliband cos that is what I think of him!!!<br /><br />Yep, this country is fxcked...unless the public really do get so twatted off by what is being done to them that they/we take matters into their/our own hands. Fair play to the students and now the Doctors for saying "Shove it" but it takes a whole lot more....the masses.... to actually think like that and act on it. <br /><br />Will it happen? It could but the British are really good at whining in corners and at each other and then rushing home in case they miss the latest episode of 'Easternderdale Street', 'X Factor Rejects Come Dine With Me Special For Not So Comic Relief', 'All Life Begins and Ends in Essex' and my personal fav 'My Big Fat Greek Yoghurt' (showing the many ways you can transform said yoghurt into a dining extravaganza). <br /><br />Yep, this country is fxcked alright!!!!<br /><br />S'use subtitles...was only original vid I could get, without all advertising junk thrown in.<br /><br /><object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BcmMV2qe95Y?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BcmMV2qe95Y?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-80522187436734317992011-03-21T18:39:00.004+00:002011-03-21T18:51:34.381+00:00And South Essex Partnership Trust wonders why it is the most failing trust in the regionThe week after Minister for Health says the most complaints in regards to the National Health Service come from those using mental health services, I was not surprised to here that the Bedfordshire section of South Essex Partnerships Trust is the most failing trust in the region. What surprises me is that it is not the most failing Trust in the UK. God help (like that is ever going to happen) those people quote "served by" unquote that Trust!!<br /><br />Below letter I sent to my MP....speaks for itself<br /><br />Dear Mr Selous<br /> <br />I cannot believe that I am having to write to you again, nor does it give me any satisfaction doing so, but due to continual inefficencies and lack of appropriate communications between South Essex Partnership Trust and Central Bedfordshire Council I feel I have no choice but to write to you.<br /> <br />During late Autumn of 2010, I had a CPA review with Dr........ at Crombie House. During this meeting I explained that 3 hours per week of my personal assistant's time (which was being payed for through a Direct Payment) was not enough to ensure that I got the support that I needed when I needed it. For clarification what I asked for was an additional 3 hours (of personal assistant's time) and a payment specifically allocated to pay for personal assistant to attend therapeutic activities such as swimming, yoga or other wellbeing activities that promoted social inclusion and better mental health for myself.<br /> <br />On the day of the panel meeting my care co-ordinator was on annual leave and I was phoned up on the day by a locum care co-ordinator who told me she was about to attend the panel meeting and could I confirm what it was that was being sought (via the application already provided to the panel). I explained this to her and later on in the day, she rang me to back to say the panel refused the additional requests placed in the application but would pay for 3 hours of personnal assistant's time for 1 more year. She also stated that at the end of the year, the panel expected me to be fully independant. At the time I was quite disturbed by the last statement but relieved that, at least, I was going to get 1 more year of my personnal assistant's time.<br /> <br />I asked the locum care co-ordinator to get me a copy of my updated CPA review, in which the proposal to reapply for additional support through the Direct Payment was discussed as I wanted to go through this and ensure that there was in writing what was agreed at the meeting. I am still waiting for a copy of this paperwork.<br /> <br />I am also still waiting, although I asked both the locum care co-ordinator and my existing care co-ordinator who I saw last month and spoke to last week, for a copy of the formal paperwork from the panel meeting which confirms what was agreed at that metting in December. My care co-ordinator has advised me that nothing was forwarded from Central Bedfordshire Council and he was still awaiting to here back from the council having sent them an email asking for a copy of the paperwork.<br /> <br />I have spoken to someone at the Direct Payment's office, although it was an administrator. I have not been able to get in contact with anyone senior and would not know who to contact if I did. This lady advised me that all Direct Payments are for 2 year periods of time and she couldn't understand why I had not been informed of this. To be honest, Mr Selous, I have been informed of very little and most of the information needed I have had to ask for, rather than be provided with.<br /> <br />I no longer understand 1) How long my existing payment is actually for be it 1 or 2 years 2) what has happened to the formal paperwork from the panel meeting in December and my CPA review in Autumn 3) why I have to do all the work trying to manage people when I am seeking very specific support due to my illness, which should not warrant me time and time again having to keep chasing people up and getting nowhere. Thankfully, I have a level of intelligence (and I don't mean this disrepectfully to anyone) which means I do get the overall picture of organisations that are not communicating effectively with each other or their clients/patients and do not seem to care either. However, I am now having to take more medication to stop myself going over the edge. I am caught in a very vicious cycle..and I seek your help in order to, at least, get me copies of paperwork relevant to my support (as per agreements and legal requirements) and to endeavour as best as you can to get government organisations to do their jobs properly because if this is what is happening to me, I can only imagine what is happening to other people who are ill and maybe less able to express their needs and frustrations as I do.<br /> <br />Yours sincerelyThat's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-40620197108204498552011-03-14T19:39:00.002+00:002011-03-14T19:44:11.538+00:00Dispatches - Britain's Secret Fat Cats<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQyf2lR7BeDqypqgTf623NgEAei6QqEysVLbB60CKgU-b14pWBAXVmzyYaBrv7To2Zm9fMmQEx3Y2t9Uefsj138th8vKlnZKQNwacmUf_eihsj-xAKO7aDdTJHVar3SOY5aGwV_0xwY4/s1600/fat+cat.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 308px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwQyf2lR7BeDqypqgTf623NgEAei6QqEysVLbB60CKgU-b14pWBAXVmzyYaBrv7To2Zm9fMmQEx3Y2t9Uefsj138th8vKlnZKQNwacmUf_eihsj-xAKO7aDdTJHVar3SOY5aGwV_0xwY4/s400/fat+cat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584023753958433202" /></a><br />8.00 pm, Channel 4, tonight.<br /><br />Let's see who is actually getting the cream!!!!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-34117265705711241782011-02-02T22:32:00.002+00:002011-02-02T22:34:30.488+00:00Latest Letter to MP, who asked me to contact him if I had further need of himDear MP<br /> <br />Thank you for your reply to the copy of the email I sent to important person at local council. I know there were ongoing issues for 2 year's prior to my father going into residential care. These included misdiagnosis by a psychiatrist, lack of appropriate support from both mental health services and social services, which I believe led to his suicide attempt. <br /> <br />During this time and up until autumn of last year, my father was in a hell of a state and I know that you were aware of the impact this had on my mental health. I am grateful that my father was, eventually and with my constant fighting for his wellbeing to be given priority, placed in residential care and now seems to have a combination of psychiatric medications which have lifted his mood to a point where he is less miserable and more able to interact with people within the care home and myself and my daughter.<br /> <br />However, I am not satisfied that any lessons have been learnt by the MH Trust, who having showed me the report they did in regards to an investigation I pressed for..refused to let me have a copy.<br /> <br />My main concern now is that what we have are layers of bureaucracy (both within MH and Social Services) that cover themselves...rather than acknowledge the damage the lack of appropriate intervention, when needed, and lack of providing transparent and honest information, when requested, does not only to people in crisis but also to the trust that was building between patients and the people designated to provide care to them.<br /> <br />I think this is an on-going problem. I have requested information...and very specific information in regards to decisions made about both mine and my father's care (viz a vie Direct Payments agreements and Residential Care agreements made at panel level). Either the information has taken months to be provided or has not been provided at all. Which has led me to believe that either people have acted neglectfully or deliberately have avoided providing the information, that was sought.<br /> <br />I am sure you appreciate how frustrating this is for me. I am a person who needs to know why things are how they are and to be provided the truth...as does my father. In fact, my father becomes quite paranoid if he thinks information is being kept from him.<br /> <br />I am not sure that you can do anything to change this. However, as a government, I believe the party you represent can do alot to enforce changes within existing care services and I don't mean to the detriment of them but to get rid of the ludicrous levels of bureaucracy, the with-holding of significant information to patients and to make these services more transparent and responsive to patient needs.<br /> <br />For your information, I have not heard back from the important person at the local council, since I sent the last email to him and this is nothing new for me, when dealing with public services. I think it is a case of only responding if they have and/or are legally obliged to.<br /> <br />Yours sincerely<br /> <br />Mandy LawrenceThat's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-80917483364744692202010-12-19T02:22:00.002+00:002010-12-19T02:36:31.055+00:00My daughter got home safeIn the midst of utter waste of space that is trying to piece myself back together only to fall apart, or pull myself apart, there is something real and worthwhile that happened today.<br /><br />My daughter, who is covering for a manager on annual leave, had to travel a ways in the snow. My achievement of the day, such as it was, was to get to the care home crimbo buffet, aided by Craig. He is very helpful (at times) but mixed in with that is his jealousy, paranoia and come downs off alcohol. Both of us know it is a relationship based on needs (both of ours)..every once in a while I dare to be honest about that and another game starts, manipulation, threats...and other really pantsy stuff that does neither of us any good. Anyway, whilst trying to be all things to everyone around me, doing an adequate enough job (well I thought so)...until I got home and gave my cat some fusses. Fekk, you'd have thought I had ignored Craig all day. As I was close to ab dab point I said "Maybe we need to talk now...cos there's things need sorting out". Answer "No, you don't know how lonely I get" and I don't. I understand loneliness but I can't know how lonely anyone else gets. I don't know what actually goes on in their heads and more so I am too tired to double guess.<br /><br />The conversation ended there. He sulked for most of rest of the night. I twisted myself into wondering how I make any of this positive...apart from packing bags and fekking off. Not realistic cos would be taking me with me!!!! So it was put up and shut up until I could get away to my bedroom...and some breathing space.<br /><br />Anyway, that is all the negative crap and yep, I deserve it because I haven't got the bollocks to be totally alone.<br /><br />The good stuff is that daughter got to and from work. She is safe and I am relieved. And if I should compare myself realistically to anyone it should be her because she is getting on and doing what she has to do and I admire her.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-64725082240644638392010-12-15T19:41:00.002+00:002010-12-15T20:28:22.439+00:00Confused ramblings about MH care and why it hurts my head even moreDon't know where this is going to go but it's a case of I've started so I'll finish..somewhere.<br /><br />The good news is I am getting a Direct Payment for another year. When my care co-ordinator put the paperwork together (and from what I saw, really well) I was sort of optimistic. Well, that was one stage of the process done and dusted. Then he went on 4 week's leave and a social worker was covering for him...then he went on sick leave, came back for a week and is back on sick leave again. <br /><br />Was woken by a phone call, yesterday, from the lady who is covering for the social worker, covering for my care co-ordinator, to tell me she was at the panel meeting to discuss the application and (in a nutshell) what did it mean? DOH! DOH! DOH! I tried to explain...through the total fugg that is my brain, first thing in the morning, but don't think I made a good job of it. All I said was "Do your best and good luck"??????????????????<br /><br />The application was for an extension of 6 hours and payment for care lady to attend activities with me. <br /><br />What did I expect? Nothing! I know that councils have to make massive cuts, benefits are to be reduced to fekk knows what and quite how that will equate to living costs....AND the mentally ill are the hidden disabled. As in, if you can't actually see it, it doesn't exist. Well...for those who don't suffer it. Not dissing any other disabled group but is not like ATOS are going to be able to get inside my head and go "Fekk, it's a mess in there". <br /><br />Anyway, I digress, what I have got is another year of the same payment. The lady covering social worker, covering care co-ordinator said the panel have said "How you use it is up to you but you have to fit that into the payment"..£21 per week. So if I want care lady to attend activities with me, I guess I have to save up enough hours so that I can cover costs and paying for her time. Nosebleed cos it may well mean no weeks of seeing her to then pay for a course of yoga or tai chi. Well have to jiggle it about. Will think on that after the festive farce.<br /><br />She also told me I got the payment because I was not so reliant on MH services??? Have reflected on that. 2 things that affect that 1) The successive STR workers that gave me support directly from CMHT have been scrapped 2) When I try and make contact with care co-ordinator, or recently social worker covering for them...they take ages to get back in touch with me or are on sick leave. <br /><br />Not sure what to make of that either in respect of emergency appointment I had with shrink in October, where new meds were tried. Maybe that is just a red herring in amongst all the crap in my head.<br /><br />It could be paranoia but to me is like MH services are being dismantled (maybe bit by bit and they hope nobody actually notices!!!!!!!!!!!)<br /><br />The lady covering etc etc blah fucking blah informed me that the panel EXPECT me to be living independantly at the end of this Direct Payment. I assume that means independantly of any support services. That could be because there won't be any left by then. I don't know. I do know that I live on my own and running my home (well the council's home I live in)..it's pretty scrappy round here. Not all ship shape and Bristol fashion in fact it is pretty run down..DIY not a strong point and housework gets done as and when mood and energy levels permit.I am surviving (for now) with intermittent okay times and lots of anxt ridden stressed times.<br /><br />Friend rang me today to say that GPs are now going to take control of care across the board. Err...WTF does that mean for people with mental illness? Will GPs be expected to provide MH services? If so, wonder what the GPs think about that? Personally, I can't envisage them being able to cover both a person's mental and physical health within a 5-10 consultation meeting but maybe I have got wrong end of the stick. Hands up...am bewildered by most things that are going on...<br /><br />My bottom line is that I will hack what I can hack for as long as I can hack it and then the get out clause will be applied. Sounds meladramatic. Actually, it is a bit of a relief to think that I can have some control when it comes to ending this torment (both internal and external).<br /><br />As for those people who believe it is selfish to take your own life. I have thought about this alot, in relation to myself. When my daughter was younger, she was one of the reasons I kept going.<br /><br />Times change, she has changed. She is still awesome. However, she is actually living a really independant life. She's all grown up and doesn't need me anymore. In fact, I know I am more of a burden in her life now than I was then. I am more miserable, less able to hide my hurt and anger at what is happening. <br /><br />All the hopes I had in the past that there would be a medication that could balance me out are gone (through having tried them) and I am reliant on benzos. If things were not going to get worse, I would think on coming off them but with what is to come, I would rather take them and have some relief...some calms within the storms.<br /><br />I know, I am pessimistic person. I think that is based on my view of what is real and really happening...and just because the latest big buzz is around resilience that doesn't mean I can become more resilient than I have had to be to survive this far.<br /><br />Ah bollox.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-19801194595317826052010-12-14T13:36:00.003+00:002010-12-14T14:01:31.175+00:00Just who are the police protecting and why are the media becoming such suck arses?<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OUHzSQgayXY?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OUHzSQgayXY?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />This is footage of Jodie McIntyre being dragged from their wheelchair by the police during recent protests.<br /><br />When I saw this I had to ask "Why?". What possible threat could Mr McIntyre pose to a group of policeman? <br /><br />I didn't watch the news yesterday. I have been deliberately avoiding it, although by doing that I am avoiding things like the interview BBC News did with Mr McIntyre. I have been told it was biased and that he was made to look like a villain. Well, if someone in a wheelchair being pulled about by the police is an act of crime then nobody is safe to do anything without it being seen as deviant behaviour (except the police).<br /><br />I dont' usually bad mouth the police force, although I still think the shooting of Jean Charles de Menenez was an utter cock up on policing front (and the man died uneccesarily) because my experience of dealing with them has been that they have been obliging, kind and actually found my Dad when he was wandering around the Yorkshire Moors in a state of mental distress. However, I fear their prime directive is to serve the government rather than serve the public.<br /><br />And what next: Water Canons, calling the army in to every protest? The British Government condemned China over the student protests in Tiananmen square, in 1989<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AGJoaHr2QdM?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AGJoaHr2QdM?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />but now the government labels all UK protestors as rioters (and the media follow suit) and the police are to be their henchmen. It won't be long before the state starts controlling everything. <br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IcTP7YWPayU?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IcTP7YWPayU?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-40415867090582035922010-12-09T22:31:00.000+00:002010-12-09T22:35:04.885+00:00Disabled woman beaten up on bus while everyone just watchesTHE disabled mum beaten up in a pram rage attack on a crowded bus told yesterday of her disgust that no one tried to help her.<br /><br />Nova Willet, 36, said fellow passengers ignored her cries for help and some even laughed as she was beaten unconscious by a foul-mouthed thug. She felt “sickened” nobody intervened when she was punched and kicked in front of her three-year-old daughter.<br /><br />They just watched as she screamed, “Help… he’s trying to kill me!” while the yob repeatedly smashed her head on the floor.<br /><br />Her attacker, who was with two small children, laid into her then tried to drag her off the bus.<br /><br />He leaned over her bloodied face and snarled: “I’m going to f****** kill you.” Nova, who has debilitating auto-immune disease lupus, said: “People don’t want to get involved. The community spirit just isn’t there any more.”<br /><br />She lost a tooth and suffered internal bleeding after the attack in which her 32-year-old husband was also battered.<br /><br />Advertisement - article continues below » <br /><br />Nova decided speak out in an effort to catch the man who lashed out on the No 85 in Kingston, Surrey, after their baby buggies became entangled. She said: “I smiled and said, ‘Sorry can you get through?’ To which I got abuse. He said, ‘You’re going to have to move your buggy’.”<br /><br />When she explained she couldn’t move he unleashed a torrent of abuse. The man, who had a baby and a girl of about six with him, then launched the brutal attack.<br /><br />Nova said: “He threw me all over the bus and was whacking my head against the hand rail. He was punching me in the head and kicking me. When I fell he started ramming my head into the floor. I remember my husband trying to pull him off and my daughter screaming. But nobody on the bus tried to help in any way.”<br /><br />Nova thought she had been stabbed after her glasses were smashed into her face.<br /><br />She said: “There was a time when people would not have stood by and allowed this to happen.”<br /><br />Anyone with information about the attacker should call Kingston police on 020 8247 4946.<br /><br /><br /><br />Read more: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/12/08/disabled-mum-beaten-unconscious-in-pram-rage-attack-tells-how-bus-passengers-ignored-her-pleas-115875-22768468/#ixzz17eltOuF3That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-5744269152304492442010-12-08T12:44:00.003+00:002010-12-08T13:09:35.828+00:00Is it pessimism or realism that makes me question the latest Govt consultation?I have just printed off the easy read version of the government consulation on 'Changing Disability Living Allowance'.<br /><br />The government site is below.. and sorry I can't do a direct link. I have been shown how to, several times, but always forget :<(<br /><br />http://www.dwp.gov.uk/consultations/2010/dla-reform.shtml<br /><br />I do intend to respond and am grateful that the cut off date is February because I am in no fit state to respond right now.<br /><br />Am going to attempt to play at normal human (best as) because it is my daughter's birthday tomorrow and our quality time to 'celebrate' is later today. Fekk, it is so hard to keep up with the jollies.<br /><br />Wish I was more 'Grace under pressure' than her ugly sister 'Ava panic stricken'.<br /><br />Anyway, before I take another benzo and hope I settle...I can't help wondering if it is all just a faitez complis. That could have wider meaning than specifically talking about this consultation.<br /><br />Because I have believed that it is worth people having their say and being given opportunities to have their say, I have been involved in consultations before.<br /><br />Biggest one..in regards to personal involvement was the Herts and Beds 'Investing in Your Mental Health' consultation that took place a few years back. As a service user rep (and I look back on that time as a total waste of my time) I was involved in meeting with other MH service users and gauging their views on the consultation paper, what it meant to them and what they actually wanted.<br /><br />In the May, the SU group was given the deadline end of September to get views back. So all through the summer myself, and 2 other reps, organised meetings across the county. It wasn't the easiest of things to be involved in (my travel phobia meant I had to be escorted) but by early September all the meetings had been carried out. Due to some management issues and my desire to do things fairly, I ended up typing the response, getting coppies back to the people we met and other SU reps..to ensure I hadn't missed anything and was staying true to what people had said. <br /><br />The response did get back to the Strategic Health Authority in time. I later presented the responses at a mini conference type thing. Not only do I hate public speaking but loathe it with a passion but, as ever, no one else wanted to or was available.<br /><br />What were the actual outcomes of the consultation? 'Investing in Your Mental Health' ...as a project..was scrapped...the project lead (head of MH in Strategic Health Authority) moved sideways and it was never heard of again. Apart from me saying what a criminal waste of time it was..particularly for those of us who took it seriously. <br /><br />I can't help thinking "Here we go again". There is no such thing as democracy and what point actually raising concerns when the decisions have already been made?<br /><br />Gonna put the paperwork to one side and rethink this. My expectations have been raised in the past, I have believed in democracy and, ultimately, been lied to and totally disillusioned. :<(That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-47329925118203526902010-12-08T11:13:00.002+00:002010-12-08T11:15:35.418+00:00In case anyone feels discriminated again...In the words of the 'Disney Corporation' ..."It's a small world after all"<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dZ6Y_jErC9c?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dZ6Y_jErC9c?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-24120667337084073822010-12-08T10:55:00.001+00:002010-12-08T10:58:05.983+00:00For my Antipodean visitor<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Deri2fxBJnY?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Deri2fxBJnY?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />The Big Society just gets bigger and bigger. Ha! Ha! Ha!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-55135101293583143352010-12-07T11:55:00.002+00:002010-12-07T12:07:24.969+00:00Who will help the homeless?I try, really hard, not to watch the news. It is not like I need any more reasons to feel utterly miserable. However, I stayed with Craig last night. <br /><br />There is another more personal story in here but I am so angry with my inability to continue to perform at a level near normality at present. Yes, I know that mental illness renders people incapable (varying degrees) to lead normal lives and certainly not without alot of help. I can imagine the recovery natzis insisting that there are many people with mental illness leading normal leaves. I would question how ill they are in the first place? and what levels of support (where it comes from too) are in place for them.<br /><br />Anyway, my battles with my illness aside...I was in tears yesterday when watching the local news, at Craig's.<br /><br />Two YMCA centres in Cambridge have been closed down due to lack of financial support. I don't suppose Cambridge is the only place this is happening either. It is the thinnest edge of the wedge and, not surprisingly, assistance to the most vulnerable is being shaved off first. These centres provided essential support for homeless people and now these people will be left to fend for themselves and I can only imagine (although expect that there may well come a time when I will be forced to join them) what it is like to be living out on the streets and at the mercy of the savage winter weather being experienced across the UK at this time.<br /><br />My heart goes out to them and I am acutely aware that I have so much more in common with them than the people who are taking away any support they have. Very sad :<(That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-19056219751535852422010-11-27T23:50:00.004+00:002010-11-28T00:30:52.085+00:00A Condundrum over Control Issues in Care HomeThe conundrum is how I deal with an incident that happened today.<br /><br />Before I explain, best as, have to state that the person concerned has previously been, what I consider to be, abrupt and even a bit mean in the way they speak to residents.<br /><br />On reflection, maybe I should have said something before but I have let these things go....actually I should have said something before.<br /><br />I intend to take action now. I am just not quite sure what action to take.<br /><br />One of the residents has got into the habit of hurling themselves, head first, at the floor. OK, that is childish behaviour and it isn't doing them any favours but looking at it from a humanistic point of view,they are very poorly, have little control over their lives and to large degree over the function of their body. They are striving to get attention and clearly, whatever attention they are getting (which from my observations, when there, is very little but I don't see other rezzies getting any more) is not enough.<br /><br />Whilst I was there today, this person, kept trying to get up off their chair. On a couple of occasions I helped, such as I can, and on other occasions a staff member came to help out. <br /><br />Not long after the staff member left the room, the resident went head first to the floor. I cried out for staff to attend and went over to sit with the resident. Both the staff members on duty rushed in. The most senior's first actions were to tell the resident off (in front of everyone in the room) and then storm out to get the contraption (apologies don't know correct term) that will aid them to lift the resident off the floor.<br /><br />I got a cushion and placed it under the rezzie's head and stroked their shoulder and tried to reassure them. The other member of staff stood there a bit dumbstruck until the senior came back. <br /><br />Once settled into the chair, the senior went off to notify next of kin and ring and ambulance (fair enough). I sat and stroked rezzie's hand and chatted to him whilst the other staff member kept dabbing a big bump that appeared over their right eye with a cloth. Can't for the life of me think why they did that but I guess it was doing something.<br /><br />What infuriated me was the total lack of respect given to the resident. In fact they were treated like a naughty school kid that should be scolded and the fact that this was done with an audience. If that is not over controlling, well I am a born again Liberal Voter (and there's fat chance of that happening).<br /><br />At the time, my priority (actually instinct) was to provide TLC and as much reassurance as I could until the paramedics arrived but the more I think about this the more angry I am becoming.<br /><br />I can go about this one of two ways or maybe both. Talk to the person, one to one and tell them what I think of how they handled that situation and/or speak to the manager. I think it would be only fair to talk to the person first. I don't relish the idea and I imagine it could get quite heated but what happened has to be challenged. I think it has to be challenged because if they carry on, and are allowed to carry on talking to residents (fellow human beings), like they are pieces of trash....and in a leadership role...it will continue to breed fear and well fekk knows where it will end but no care home should be run on fear. I don't think anywhere should be run on fear. Sadly it seems to be becoming the norm, these days. <br /><br />I think I should talk to the manager too. Maybe they are aware of this staff member's behaviour and have turned a blind eye or, maybe, they really don't know how this person behaves. Either way, they need to be confronted with the truth and then to decide how they will deal with it.<br /><br />I know there is a risk of upsetting the apple cart as it is but the apple cart could soon turn very sour if left as is. Hmmm...ultimately, I have to follow what my morals and emotions are telling me and they are telling me "It just ain't right".<br /><br />Got to think of best way to plan what I am going to say but, in spite of what certain anonymous people think of me, usually (particularly in major life shit and certainly when trying to help others) following gut reaction turns out best....Hoping it turns out for the best this time. Hope.....possibly the naeivist form of self deception but sometimes it is all I got.<br /><br />and I really hope it doesn't get to point where I feel I have to go to a higher authority. 1) Because if things can be sorted for the better in situe that has to be best way 2) Higher authorities are usually run by impotent wind bags with no desire or clowt to do anything other than give lip service, cover other people's backsides and tick boxes.<br /><br />One more thing, I don't think 2 members of staff are able to properly look after all the residents in the home so there is a staffing issue and that, as is usually the case, all boils down to money!!!<br /><br />Ho fucking hum!!!!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-40218927027464878532010-11-27T00:33:00.003+00:002010-11-27T00:59:45.371+00:00Base...how low can you go?Title just popped into my head so I put it up.<br /><br />Arrrrrgh! Have had few weeks of depression, mixed with cold virus symptoms that seemed to keep appearing and disappearing (no obvious reason, migraines etc. Midweek had this freaky manic up thing. I don't much like that either. Is not euphoric or care free. It is a bit wild and lary and not easy to control. In between all this had impulses in middle of night to go walkies. All except one night, at Craig's, managed to curb it. That night I was wandering around early hours, trying to find my friend's house. Fekk knows why? Didn't really want to wake her up. I tried buzzing one door bell..got spooked and walked off. Thanks to another friend being on end of phone, and them talking sense to me, called a taxi and went home. <br /><br />Since then, I haven't had one good night's sleep. I am sure there are insomniacs out there that would think me a lucky bitch for getting any good night's sleep...but, usually aided by loz, I can zonk through a night, no sweat.<br /><br />Well, don't know about other people with Bi-polar but if I don't get proper sleep, I start getting iller and that is what has been happening. <br /><br />I am drained all day and want to sleep ...or not feel so drained!!! At night, I am wide awake. Mostly contemplating running away. I used to do that sort of thing when younger, without any contemplation. It was a more care free state of being then. Now, I just feel total entrapment....bit like sitting in some metaphorical cell (real enough to me) on death row, waiting to be sent into the gas chamber.<br /><br />Normally for me it is 3-4 bad days and a 3-4 coping days (coping and doing positive things..as in things I enjoy)....now I enjoy very little any day. Even chocolate doesn't touch me. I know, it must be serious!!!<br /><br />The only real difference a day brings is some new physical ailment to be dealing with. I know depression and physical illness go together. Immune system gets wham'od and the viruses send a round robin to all their pals.<br /><br />Even my care co-ordinator coming up trumps wasn't enough to lift me any higher than level of coffee table. He bought round a file load of paperwork (yak) but it was relevant. Certainly the proposal for continued Direct Payment. I actually hugged him and told him I was bowled over by it, cos, from where I sat, it all looked in order and relevant to my needs. One less thing to fret about. Okay, so next stage the All Powerful Panel Meeting...and I am not expecting anything so if they say "No go" it will be no surprise. If they say "Yes" it will mean something positive but right now am too low to appreciate it. Thought of going outside...even just to local shops freaking me out and Craig is having to accompany me to see Dad because I feel like I am going to collapse all the time, or bawl or make a twat of meself in front of other vulnerable people who would be shaken and stirred up if I do.<br /><br />Every winter it's bad...I am not sure if it is worse this year...last year I had been fighting 2 year battle with services to give Dad proper support. Culminating in his suicide attempt, 3 month stay in acute care and finally transferred to the care home, which he is now settled nicely into and making progress. I don't use the word recovery. It isn't recovery...it is some sort of coming back out of his shell....secure that he is safe, he is 're-becoming' (to a certain extent) Dad I knew, again.<br /><br />I think it must be a case of every winter is bad...and every winter I am older..and every year one load of crap gets replaced with another load of crap. Scary times do not make for settled, calm and collected Bi-polars. Well, not this one, for sure.<br /><br />Plus gotta cancel my respite care cos there is no one to look after Suki Cat and Suki Cat is too old, too frail and too set in her ways to be stuck in a cattery. <br /><br />Know I said it hundreds of times but I wish I was a bear...and I could find a big tree (with big enough hole) for me to curl up in, hibernate and awake in spring. Sure there will still be crap to be dealing with but there will be sun and flowers, blossoming trees and lighter days. 4 months...right now that is too long, by 3 months and 31 days!!!!!!!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-90284236448128660352010-11-26T10:38:00.006+00:002010-11-26T12:21:23.853+00:00Ummmm.....If it was simply a case of teaching granny to suck eggshow comes most people have never even seen granny sucking eggs?<br /><br />Flippancy has it's uses, especially when Nanny is back with their guide on how to survive 'The Festive Season':<br /><br />1. Drink sensibly<br /><br />A bottle a day should keep you suitably inebriated to endure it<br /><br />2. Eat well<br /><br />Nanny recommends a light salad, followed by a yoghurt and a piece of fruit.<br /><br />3. Be active<br /><br />Yep, even if that means forcing yourself out of bed. You could even try to do the housework that has been put on hold for a few months. <br /><br />4. Get involved <br /><br />For those living alone, go knocking on neighbour's doors and ask them if you can join in their festivities.<br /><br />5. Relax<br /><br />Make yourself a cup of tea, do some deep breathing exercises, have a bath and then hit the benzos. You really should not be bothering the Crisis Team at this time of year and ruining their fun.<br /><br />6. Sleep<br /><br />If only eh? But if push comes to shove try a mix of Tip No 1 and Tip No 5<br /><br />And here's Nanny's link http://www.mhf.org.uk/media/news-releases/news-releases-2010/22-november-2010b/That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-87693690745459850182010-11-23T12:59:00.003+00:002010-11-23T13:04:04.877+00:00Telling it how it isI been doing that for years and still I get the "Get over yourself" Brigade insisting that some collective we must rally on and conquer our illness, most probably because it makes them feel better about themselves.<br /><br />I am sure that anyone with an on-going and utterly debilitating mental illness will know that it takes extra effort to do just about anything and life is exhuasting enough without added layers of guilt from other people to have to deal with AND if I could have recovered, I wouldn't still be at the mercy of this fucking disorder.<br /><br />Best intentions or deliberate bullying doesn't make me feel any better and I am taking this opportunity to tell the likes of the Recovery Natzis to "Fucking well, fuck the fuck off"<br /><br />END OF!!!!!!!!That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-52159899743535436552010-11-17T14:04:00.002+00:002010-11-17T14:19:45.122+00:00Migraines and Mind fucksI feel like saying last post I put up was a total waste of time. It most probably was but it was where I was at, then.<br /><br />Now, I am feeling/thinking (such as brain can hack) like...it was all about theorising rather than realising how dire things are going to get without any real care for the people on the butt end of it. In that regard it led to nothing new!!!<br /><br />Ho hum! I keep trying to access places where I can make some positive difference and coming back into myself.<br /><br />This isn't just frustration about that, it's the joys of womanhood dragging me back into the bog. Yeh! I know all women suffer (varying degrees) but I get floored every time and the migraines trigger one after the other. Dropped migraine meds and 2 loz. Hopefully, will feel more comfortable soon, at least relaxed enough to sleep.<br /><br />There is progress of sorts. A minor operation that can be done to remove lining of womb and hence no more periods. Had letter from consultant saying I have a 'consultation' meeting scheduled for spring. I need to get my act together (more so now I have printer ink) and write back saying at the meeting I want to discuss the operation, and basically go for it.<br /><br />Rallied through (sort of) meeting with care co-ordinator and a social worker. Won't say too much about why social worker was there but based on the meeting, I am glad he was and have another meeting scheduled with him tomorrow to try and move forward with Direct Payments. Sort outstanding issues out and re-apply for more hours. Not sure where it will lead. Times being as they are and attitudes towards the sick (surpluss to requirement) it may turn out to be nothing but, realistically, I need more hours of my care lady's time.<br /><br />Thankfully, my friend's son is going to get my prescription for me today because in the physical state I am in, aggravating mental state, I wouldn't make it.<br /><br />It's time for bed and I just hope I get a long sleep. Not so much to recharge batteries as to shut down and shut it all out for a while.That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-6681589223869682882010-11-16T21:11:00.005+00:002010-11-16T21:41:32.818+00:00Some healthy debate (at last)I have spent some time but maybe not enough, venturing around blogland to gauge how people are coping and what their views are, in regards to what is to come as part of reforming the welfare state (whatever that actually turns out to be).<br /><br />There is, understandably, a lot of fear out there and little hope...but I could just be reading specific blogs and not getting a generalised view (if there is such a thing).<br /><br />A friend sent me a link to a blog called 'Labour List' and the specific posting I was sent is 'Coalition 'welfare' policy - back to the workhouse'. Remember doing a blog posting myself, few years back, saying this is what I fear would happen (workhouses for the mentally ill) and believed would happen at some point in not too distant future...anyway, I am digressing.<br /><br />What I like about this posting (apart from it's content) is the level of debate is has triggered. Some of it, maybe, not so much debate as disagreement but overall it makes for something healthier/good for me than just 'ranting' (as I am apt to do) or going round in circles with my own view and nothing to bounce it off. I do discuss things with friends and fam (my daughter) but, I think, it is more objective...make that more indepth/broader....to get views from people not personally involved with me.<br /><br />I recommend people read the posting and the responses because, can only speak for myself here, I am finding out information I did not know before but I am also seeing different perspectives...more importantly it is healthy to see something like real debating going on rather than reinforcing or being part of a hysteria raising cycle/circle. <br /><br />It could just be me, locked up in MandLand, and sometimes too trapped by the terror or too angry to absorb anything properly because I am too busy wanting to get back at the 'bad guys and girls' (Angry one woman mob with nowhere to go) but I have not yet come across a blog where I have seen debating between people of differing opions going on about a subject that is so important...something that it is going to change the very nature of our society and, as yet, I have yet to be shown it likely to be anything other than brutal and harsh for those of us who can't cope with mainstream due to illness/es.<br /><br />I will be posting on that blog (working on composing myself appropriately beforehand...which might fail and I will just burst in with usual off top of head stuff) but I wanted to give people the opportunity to have a look at it for themselves and make up their own minds about it.<br /><br /><a href="http://labourlist.org/coalition-welfare-policy-back-to-the-workhouse">Link to "Coalition ‘welfare’ policy: back to the workhouse"</a>That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8436306896448667918.post-53953014474814433992010-11-16T10:22:00.003+00:002010-11-16T10:32:26.694+00:00Chairman of Motability signed up for cutsNeil Johnson was one of many businessmen who signed a letter supporting the financial cuts to public services and benefits for disabled people.<br /><br />"Motability Operations is a not-for-profit company that runs the Motability Car Scheme, and more recently, the Powered Wheelchair and Scooter Scheme." It is also the largest fleet operator in the UK and the biggest supplier of used cars to the trade, it is owned by the major banks: Barclays Bank plc, Lloyds Group plc, HSBC Bank plc and Royal Bank of Scotland plc.<br /><br />Johnson is also chairman of Umeco, a company that produces weapons and Hornby (that lovely train set company).<br /><br />I think all the above speaks for itself.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Om5zGJRUuXk?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Om5zGJRUuXk?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>That's not my name!http://www.blogger.com/profile/17064348309163649672noreply@blogger.com0