I ususally write my rantings over the latest story of tripe that comes from the media but we all know that the drugs are an excuse to keep far too many people in jobs (particularly as their efficacy is highly debatable), that the system sucks and it will creak on and bloody on whilst destroying large amounts of the world's forestation as it goes...so's I want to get back to my kind of basics.
The important things...like my family, my friends, my cat and chocolate. Yes, that is where it is at MAAAN!
Dad, bless him, is struggling again with his psychosis. I contemplated talking to his care co-ordinator because he needs to let out and to let out with people who care but who aren't affected by his thoughts. He would be sad to know that his illness affects me the way it does. But Dad and me have been a close outfit since Mum died and things can become far too sensitive between us too quickly. Especially, as we are both now struggling with the severer spectrum of illness. I have put talking to his CC on hold until such time as I feel I can trust them not to go running to him and blabbing their mouth of about what I said. If I do contact his CC, it will be after having spoken with Dad and explained my concern. If he doesn't want me to talk to the CC, then I won't.
Daughter is doing great. Starts second year of uni this week, is mid learning to drive and it ain't coming easy but she is sticking with it. Most things she has achieved have been through hard work and determination.
My friends have been great. I am lucky I have a small, rather fragmented, group of people in my life who genuinely care and aren't afraid to show it. Crashed at one of their places last night as the migraine hangover had left me depressed and disorientated. I needed TLC and I got it.
And today, thanks to another friend who gave me a lift, I went to the doc's for more migraine tabbies, to pick up the lozee prescription and then do some shopping around town. Not spectacular you'd think...but it is for me. Then I rewarded myself with a Bounty Bar. I hadn't had chocolate since last week and so it had to be done.
Now I am home with Suki cat and she is curled up next to me and all is well..pending the next mood shift.
This song is for Lareve and me (cos even if I can't keep the sun, I want as much of it as I can get when I can get it):
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Hi Mandy
ReplyDeleteThanks for the song. sorry your Dad is not doing much better. I think its important for him to get help and for you not to take on the full burden but I don;t think that going behind his back will help as he is probably in that us and them mindset of depression and will only think you have taken sides.
Glad Em is doing well. She must be a beacon of sanity to you which is good when you are surrounded by all us maddies.lol
Anyway hope Evening with Mr x goes well. Let him spoil you
Lareve x
Hi Lareve
ReplyDeleteHaving spoken to Dad later today, the last thing I am going to do it talk to MH services about him.
I don't think he believes they call help him..particularly the shrink. I remember being on a ward meeting with Dad and there is this contempt that eminates from professionals. Like 'you are mad and therefore we don#t take anything you say seriously'. The roots of psychosis stem from real situations and concerns. Granted they take on another kind of life of their own but, and I get really fucking angry about this, it is like people are not acknowledged as still being important when they get ill.
I feel they either over parent or patronise my Dad without bothering to try and understand him or talk to him in any valued meaning of the word.
Then he turns to me, with things that compromise me, because nobody in the 'profession' has got the bollocks to show any humanity within themselves or share that with others.
And it's an evening of utter dross on the telly and if I had the energy I would head for the hills or possibly nearest bus shelter with a skinny cappucino (they are all the rage now).
One of them night's when gnawing at the carpet is becoming more appealing as a form of entertainment.
Yep..pissed off to the max.
Thank heavens I get to see Em tomorrow, it will make meeting with CC more tolerable!!!
xxx
Good luck with cc hun. Let me know how goes.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about 'professionals' I have worked with judges, and huge legal teams and representated clients etc in everyday job, but I still get talked to like a child with learning difficulties, 'and have you ate today.'
I have been awake now for over 48 hours. So things are a bit hazey again at mo. Glad you are finding support in Em she sounds like a daughter to be proud of.