Service User Elitism and Other Stuff that Screws with my Head

It's Monday and that means another shitty day in paradise.

With what has been going on in my life I should be in some kind of freefall state. Usually, it gets me like that but I am in this sort of resigned state of existance. I would fight but when you fight you need to know you stand a batting chance of winning.

Why have I written about service user elitism in the title? Well, because it exists and it doesn't do anyone (except those with the positions and/or making money out of it) any favours. It is a reflection of human nature for sure but it only serves to perpetuate the system. That is a tiered system where those with the power are on the top tier and have no intention of sharing it or even using the power to make positive changes for others. Some might kid themselves that they do but they don't.

I have a concern. It could just be my paranoia that there are people parading around as 'individuals', everyday folk, on blogland who are actually pro-actively working for organisations (with specific agendas) but won't admit that. I know it sounds bonkers and maybe it is but I often get the feeling that there is an element of control about things I come across. And yes it could be me. I am a sceptical person (extremely so). Anyway, such is my thinking and I will either be seen as even more fruit cake or a dumb fuck or she who must be avoided because she rocks too many boats and whatever the status quo is heaven forbid I dare to question it.

Anyway, infiltration paranoia aside I am itching to get to town. Even though I have no money to spend (several direct debits due to be paid including the truly disgusting con that is the gas bill). I do need to be out there a bit. The worry is the migraines. I started to get one last night. No obvious reason but took a wafer thing which stopped the full on effects but left me with flashing lights, squiffy vision and tightening across the forehead. Was the lesser of 2 evils.

If my friend goes. I will go with them. Maybe drop the migraine wafer and a whole loz beforehand. For me life is all about damage limitation (a little too late perhaps). Ho Hum

Em is popping round later and will be good to see her. She has the uni equivalent of half term this week. I do miss her although fully appreciate she is doing her thing and mostly enjoying it. Even though she is having to work incredibly hard (4 days a week at a restaurant) to sustain her studies. For those without mega bucks you have to work much harder to get anything near what you want. Fact of life! At least she is giving it her best shot and I admire her. In fact I am in awe of her. Sometimes, I still can't believe she comes from me. That someone so great is part of me. Lucky Mummy, I am.

Time for a cuppa and a cig and to contemplate my navel for a few hours..that is if I don't get to town. I heard Ladbrokes are taking bets on that with 100-1 odds.