Whilst walkies round my insanity, I came across the new song by Lily Allen. I had never got her before (I thought she was a bit twee) but this is delightful as well as saying what I think alot of people are thinking right now.
Another song that has been going round me head is by X Ray Specs. A short lived but acutely astute punk band.
Moving swiftly through the 'Society Eats Itself' section of this posting. Another little gem form Specs (with a back handed homage to Woolies):
Aversion therapy (apart from sedation) also included watching 'The Devil Wears Prada', whilst making cards. Thought I would hate the film but it easy to watch and had some moral fibre to help digest all the pap.
Today I attempted to use an inhalator to curb my smoking. Lasted 3 hours before I wanted to pick my brain out with a knitting needle. Any self sacrifice for the greater health of myself has now been swiftly shafted back in the pending file (pending divine intervention..like that ever happens, or brain transplant).
A review meeting has been organised for Dad, this Wednesday. Wish I could enthuse but I fear another round of my suggestions, Trust staff excuses and then it will be back to Bedlam for Dad and me.
As for my CMHT. I haven't heard from my care co-ordinator for 2 weeks. Since she went off sick and haven't spoken to my support worker for over a week. Snow played it's part but also that 'can't be arsed' attitude that is thriving in the NHS. I can no longer be arsed to give them the benefit of the doubt. Cue Meryl Streep, dressed as something from 'The Crucible', seeking to clean out the closet.
Monday, 9 February 2009
Saturday, 7 February 2009
The Doctor...in honour of empathy
This picture was painted by Luke Fildes. It depicts the night his son died. It was a Christmas Eve and Fildes was so touched by the dedication and compassion of the doctor who attended his son that when asked by Tate (of Tate Gallery fame) to do a commission (with a medical theme) this is what he produced.
I saw it on 'The One Show' the other night and even from within my benzo enduced numbness it touched me pretty deeply.
The picture, so the story goes, became 'iconic' for medical professionals who wanted to gain credibility and trust.
For me, it symbolises something human and essential (or should be) but that has been undermined and eroded by the corporations and their idea of what a 'modern' care organisation is all about..with particular importance in MH services.
All the antiseptics can say "Well the boy died and he would have survived today" and quite possibly he would have but that is not the point of this image. Not for me.
I have written too much already. The picture should speak for itself and people will read from it what they will.
Sedation..action...sedation...action...nosebleed
I think I have gone past the point where I can control my lorazepam intake. Not that I am taking 10 a day, or dropping 3 or 4 at a time but I have, until now, prided myself on being able to stick within a daily limit.
I can no longer do that. Some of that could be due to tolerance (although the counter argument could be that I spent nearly all of last year taking less than and up to 1.5 mg per day) but, I think, it is really down to the fact that I am breaking down.
It is something I know from past experience. Waking up hyperventilating...constant chundling that leads to more chundling, flapping about everything and nothing and ultimately seeing little or no point to my existance and then fighting that.
People can be pushed too far but that doesn't stop them being pushed even more. I feel that local MH services are neglecting my father (cruelly so) and the torment he suffers and torment I can't contain in myself ....we have nowhere to go with this but down and out.
I have wanted..so much..if not to be able to stay on top of things to at least be able to co exist with them. It is impossible. I just can't do that and the only way to be able to deal with the now is to sedate it.
If I had any belief..the tiniest bit...that MH services would provide a better level of care (more appropriate) for my father then I think I would have a more positive outlook...some faith that I could get through this and heal a bit myself.
I am a fighter. I don't give up at the first hurdle but I am not a marathon runner either and am really at a loss. I think Trust staff would be relieved if I killed myself. It would get me off their backs and they could leave Dad to rot without anyone questioning why.
Had thought about going back to GP to ask about another medication that might work with lorazepam to keep me on a more even keel but the whole issue of what is the right medication for my illness and possible trial on another anti-psychotic prevent me taking that step.
It isn't all about medication. Often it is about the right kind of support being in place and accessable.
Off for another round of walkies round the crazy maze of a garden (not like a teddy bear and without the tickles)
I can no longer do that. Some of that could be due to tolerance (although the counter argument could be that I spent nearly all of last year taking less than and up to 1.5 mg per day) but, I think, it is really down to the fact that I am breaking down.
It is something I know from past experience. Waking up hyperventilating...constant chundling that leads to more chundling, flapping about everything and nothing and ultimately seeing little or no point to my existance and then fighting that.
People can be pushed too far but that doesn't stop them being pushed even more. I feel that local MH services are neglecting my father (cruelly so) and the torment he suffers and torment I can't contain in myself ....we have nowhere to go with this but down and out.
I have wanted..so much..if not to be able to stay on top of things to at least be able to co exist with them. It is impossible. I just can't do that and the only way to be able to deal with the now is to sedate it.
If I had any belief..the tiniest bit...that MH services would provide a better level of care (more appropriate) for my father then I think I would have a more positive outlook...some faith that I could get through this and heal a bit myself.
I am a fighter. I don't give up at the first hurdle but I am not a marathon runner either and am really at a loss. I think Trust staff would be relieved if I killed myself. It would get me off their backs and they could leave Dad to rot without anyone questioning why.
Had thought about going back to GP to ask about another medication that might work with lorazepam to keep me on a more even keel but the whole issue of what is the right medication for my illness and possible trial on another anti-psychotic prevent me taking that step.
It isn't all about medication. Often it is about the right kind of support being in place and accessable.
Off for another round of walkies round the crazy maze of a garden (not like a teddy bear and without the tickles)
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Call for new laws to protect the elderly
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/4412053/Call-for-new-laws-to-protect-elderly-from-abuse.html
"Next week the Government is expected to publish plans to improve the care of people suffering from dementia, which will be followed by guidance clamping down on the use of dangerous antipsychotic drugs to sedate patients with conditions like Alzheimer's disease.
The medication, which could increase the risk of premature death, is prescribed to control agitation, delusions, sleep disturbance and aggression, but is not licensed to treat Alzheimer's."
Call for new laws to protect elderly from abuse
Charities are calling for new laws to protect the elderly as a study shows that more than 300,000 cases of abuse go undetected each year.
By Laura Donnelly, Health Correspondent
Last Updated: 4:46PM GMT 31 Jan 2009
More than 50 charities, backed by England's social care watchdog, are urging the Government to put abuse of the elderly on the same legal footing as child abuse, with the NHS, councils and the police obliged to investigate any threat reported.
The submission to ministers comes ahead of a major study which will say next week that more than 90 per cent of elderly people who suffer abuse go unnoticed by social services.
The report, by the charity Action on Elder Abuse, will estimate that more than 300,000 elderly people suffer mistreatment at the hands of carers, nurses, or relatives each year, without authorities ever stepping in.
Even this number is likely to be an underestimate, as it excludes people with dementia and those in residential homes.
The moves come as families across the country are struggling to find care home places for elderly relatives due to the recession increasing pressures on the social care system.
Councils facing a financial squeeze as a consequence of the downturn are restricting funded places to those with the most desperate needs, while those paying for their own care are finding it increasingly unaffordable, according to Dame Denise Platt, chairman of the Commission for Social Care Inspection (CSCI), England's social care watchdog.
She said she fears councils may further reduce the number of places they fund when they set their new budgets for April.
At the same time, owners of private care homes are facing rising bills, and may face a choice between putting up their prices or going bust.
Cases of abuse of the elderly uncovered by inspectors include care homes where residents were routinely tied to their beds and chairs, locked up or dragged around by their hair.
Other residents, many of whom had dementia, have been refused food and denied trips to the lavatory in punishment for "bad behaviour".
Investigations have revealed a woman of 85 who had her fingernails ripped off by a care worker, a 78-year-old covered in cigarette burns, and a number of thefts of pensions by care staff paid to look after the elderly.
Government research suggests that 340,000 pensioners suffer some form of physical, financial or emotional abuse each year.
Action on Elder Abuse investigated local authority records and found that fewer than a tenth of that number of cases are ever investigated by social services.
The charity, together with the Alzheimer's Society, Age Concern, Mencap, and the Commission for Social Care Inspection, is calling for laws to be introduced which would place a duty on all agencies which work with vulnerable adults to log and investigate reports of abuse – either in residential care or in family homes – and to share information with other agencies.
Currently, different bodies set their own rules about how to protect the frail elderly, and disabled, from harm.
The charities made the plea as part of submissions to a Government consultation on the protection of vulnerable adults, which closed yesterday.
Gary Fitzgerald, chief executive of Action on Elder Abuse, said: "We are simply not doing enough to protect old people facing abuse, and we are challenging the Government to listen and to introduce safeguards that make this a priority."
Neil Hunt of the Alzheimer's Society added: "We need to fight any abuse of people with dementia and that means putting systems in place early to avoid putting them at risk."
In July, a care worker was found guilty of abusing five elderly residents of Manor Care Home in Ilkeston, Derbyshire.
Nina Strange, 48, of Heanor, Derbyshire, was sentenced to 200 hours community work after a court heard how she hit an 88-year-old wheelchair-bound woman across the back of the head, twice hit an 81-year-old man on the head and pulled the hair of an 81-year-old woman as she put her to bed.
Next week the Government is expected to publish plans to improve the care of people suffering from dementia, which will be followed by guidance clamping down on the use of dangerous antipsychotic drugs to sedate patients with conditions like Alzheimer's disease.
The medication, which could increase the risk of premature death, is prescribed to control agitation, delusions, sleep disturbance and aggression, but is not licensed to treat Alzheimer's.
A parliamentary investigation has already warned that too many care-home staff are using the drugs to control the behaviour of difficult patients with dementia.
Latest figures from the CSCI show that despite a rapidly-ageing population, the number of pensioners receiving council-funded home help has fallen by 40,000 in four years, while growth in the number of people given residential care slowed.
Almost 72 per cent of councils will already only fund care for people whose needs are assessed as "substantial", a rise from 53 per cent in two years, CSCI said.
Dame Denise said services for the most vulnerable must not be targeted for further cuts.
She said: "Many councils facing an increase in the number of older and disabled people and in the costs of care have responded by raising the threshold people have to pass before they are entitled to council help. Increasingly, people are having to pay for their own care, or relay on help from relatives, friends, neighbours or voluntary organisations.
"The current economic downturn must not deflect us from the continuing need to provide vital care services to growing numbers of disabled and older people."
The Department of Health is preparing a green paper which will examine how to fund a £6 billion funding gap predicted in care of the elderly within two decades.
Phil Hope, the social care minister, said changes to the system should ensure more practical help and support for those who did not get their care funded by the state, under a "universal assessment" entitlement for all.
He said: "One of the things I feel very strongly about is that everybody, whether they are self-funding or not, should have their needs properly assessed and be given some advice and information about how those needs will be met.
"No-one should be turned away."
"Next week the Government is expected to publish plans to improve the care of people suffering from dementia, which will be followed by guidance clamping down on the use of dangerous antipsychotic drugs to sedate patients with conditions like Alzheimer's disease.
The medication, which could increase the risk of premature death, is prescribed to control agitation, delusions, sleep disturbance and aggression, but is not licensed to treat Alzheimer's."
Call for new laws to protect elderly from abuse
Charities are calling for new laws to protect the elderly as a study shows that more than 300,000 cases of abuse go undetected each year.
By Laura Donnelly, Health Correspondent
Last Updated: 4:46PM GMT 31 Jan 2009
More than 50 charities, backed by England's social care watchdog, are urging the Government to put abuse of the elderly on the same legal footing as child abuse, with the NHS, councils and the police obliged to investigate any threat reported.
The submission to ministers comes ahead of a major study which will say next week that more than 90 per cent of elderly people who suffer abuse go unnoticed by social services.
The report, by the charity Action on Elder Abuse, will estimate that more than 300,000 elderly people suffer mistreatment at the hands of carers, nurses, or relatives each year, without authorities ever stepping in.
Even this number is likely to be an underestimate, as it excludes people with dementia and those in residential homes.
The moves come as families across the country are struggling to find care home places for elderly relatives due to the recession increasing pressures on the social care system.
Councils facing a financial squeeze as a consequence of the downturn are restricting funded places to those with the most desperate needs, while those paying for their own care are finding it increasingly unaffordable, according to Dame Denise Platt, chairman of the Commission for Social Care Inspection (CSCI), England's social care watchdog.
She said she fears councils may further reduce the number of places they fund when they set their new budgets for April.
At the same time, owners of private care homes are facing rising bills, and may face a choice between putting up their prices or going bust.
Cases of abuse of the elderly uncovered by inspectors include care homes where residents were routinely tied to their beds and chairs, locked up or dragged around by their hair.
Other residents, many of whom had dementia, have been refused food and denied trips to the lavatory in punishment for "bad behaviour".
Investigations have revealed a woman of 85 who had her fingernails ripped off by a care worker, a 78-year-old covered in cigarette burns, and a number of thefts of pensions by care staff paid to look after the elderly.
Government research suggests that 340,000 pensioners suffer some form of physical, financial or emotional abuse each year.
Action on Elder Abuse investigated local authority records and found that fewer than a tenth of that number of cases are ever investigated by social services.
The charity, together with the Alzheimer's Society, Age Concern, Mencap, and the Commission for Social Care Inspection, is calling for laws to be introduced which would place a duty on all agencies which work with vulnerable adults to log and investigate reports of abuse – either in residential care or in family homes – and to share information with other agencies.
Currently, different bodies set their own rules about how to protect the frail elderly, and disabled, from harm.
The charities made the plea as part of submissions to a Government consultation on the protection of vulnerable adults, which closed yesterday.
Gary Fitzgerald, chief executive of Action on Elder Abuse, said: "We are simply not doing enough to protect old people facing abuse, and we are challenging the Government to listen and to introduce safeguards that make this a priority."
Neil Hunt of the Alzheimer's Society added: "We need to fight any abuse of people with dementia and that means putting systems in place early to avoid putting them at risk."
In July, a care worker was found guilty of abusing five elderly residents of Manor Care Home in Ilkeston, Derbyshire.
Nina Strange, 48, of Heanor, Derbyshire, was sentenced to 200 hours community work after a court heard how she hit an 88-year-old wheelchair-bound woman across the back of the head, twice hit an 81-year-old man on the head and pulled the hair of an 81-year-old woman as she put her to bed.
Next week the Government is expected to publish plans to improve the care of people suffering from dementia, which will be followed by guidance clamping down on the use of dangerous antipsychotic drugs to sedate patients with conditions like Alzheimer's disease.
The medication, which could increase the risk of premature death, is prescribed to control agitation, delusions, sleep disturbance and aggression, but is not licensed to treat Alzheimer's.
A parliamentary investigation has already warned that too many care-home staff are using the drugs to control the behaviour of difficult patients with dementia.
Latest figures from the CSCI show that despite a rapidly-ageing population, the number of pensioners receiving council-funded home help has fallen by 40,000 in four years, while growth in the number of people given residential care slowed.
Almost 72 per cent of councils will already only fund care for people whose needs are assessed as "substantial", a rise from 53 per cent in two years, CSCI said.
Dame Denise said services for the most vulnerable must not be targeted for further cuts.
She said: "Many councils facing an increase in the number of older and disabled people and in the costs of care have responded by raising the threshold people have to pass before they are entitled to council help. Increasingly, people are having to pay for their own care, or relay on help from relatives, friends, neighbours or voluntary organisations.
"The current economic downturn must not deflect us from the continuing need to provide vital care services to growing numbers of disabled and older people."
The Department of Health is preparing a green paper which will examine how to fund a £6 billion funding gap predicted in care of the elderly within two decades.
Phil Hope, the social care minister, said changes to the system should ensure more practical help and support for those who did not get their care funded by the state, under a "universal assessment" entitlement for all.
He said: "One of the things I feel very strongly about is that everybody, whether they are self-funding or not, should have their needs properly assessed and be given some advice and information about how those needs will be met.
"No-one should be turned away."
What makes for a modern MH Service?
Having read latest blog posting from Mad Dentist, who has been given an 'emergency' appointment to see his shrink in 3 months time, am thinking of a list of what makes for a modern service.
Following my own thread and experience on this, number one on my list is attending several meetings with zilch outcomes.
Another must have is being pushed from pillar to post when trying to get answers to questions (or a service for that matter).
Sure those who don't think the sun shines out of the arses of MH services will have experiences and suggestions of their own.
.....Oh and not forgetting MH professionals who tell people they worry too much if they care about members of their family who are ill.
And song of the day, in honour of 21st century - state of the art care...it has to be:
Following my own thread and experience on this, number one on my list is attending several meetings with zilch outcomes.
Another must have is being pushed from pillar to post when trying to get answers to questions (or a service for that matter).
Sure those who don't think the sun shines out of the arses of MH services will have experiences and suggestions of their own.
.....Oh and not forgetting MH professionals who tell people they worry too much if they care about members of their family who are ill.
And song of the day, in honour of 21st century - state of the art care...it has to be:
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Waking, crying, sleeping, waking
That was how my day went.
Have had contact with members of Dad's MH team. Another review meeting is being arranged. Objectively thinking, this might lead to something better. Is the tiredness that got to me really...and feeling hopeless.
His care co-ordinator said that all I have to do is ring them and they will come round. Viz a vie the traumatic trip to the local shops. That will be good, if it happens. Only I can never know when Dad is going to need something. Like with the meds that didn't turn up and running out of food and needing to go to the shops but will ring them if necessary and hopefully they will be able to help.
The team manager rang and it was his idea to have a review meeting. I dont' mind going to the meeting, if it does make some difference. He said I worry too much. Maybe I do but when you are on your own, trying to work out what is best for a family member it is hard not to worry. I want the best kind of care for Dad and I don't think he is getting it and after a year, I don't have much faith that he will get it either.
Anyway, have stopped crying. Which is something and I got a long sleep, which bought some peace. I was woken by a friend, ringing me because she was worried about me. That was actually quite positive. To know someone cared enough about me to ring. Silly maybe or not silly but not mega but sometimes it is things like that which help me to carry on.
Am going back to sleep because I am tired again. Sleep isn't always the best place with depression but it can help recharge the batteries.
Have had contact with members of Dad's MH team. Another review meeting is being arranged. Objectively thinking, this might lead to something better. Is the tiredness that got to me really...and feeling hopeless.
His care co-ordinator said that all I have to do is ring them and they will come round. Viz a vie the traumatic trip to the local shops. That will be good, if it happens. Only I can never know when Dad is going to need something. Like with the meds that didn't turn up and running out of food and needing to go to the shops but will ring them if necessary and hopefully they will be able to help.
The team manager rang and it was his idea to have a review meeting. I dont' mind going to the meeting, if it does make some difference. He said I worry too much. Maybe I do but when you are on your own, trying to work out what is best for a family member it is hard not to worry. I want the best kind of care for Dad and I don't think he is getting it and after a year, I don't have much faith that he will get it either.
Anyway, have stopped crying. Which is something and I got a long sleep, which bought some peace. I was woken by a friend, ringing me because she was worried about me. That was actually quite positive. To know someone cared enough about me to ring. Silly maybe or not silly but not mega but sometimes it is things like that which help me to carry on.
Am going back to sleep because I am tired again. Sleep isn't always the best place with depression but it can help recharge the batteries.
Monday, 2 February 2009
This sale has been voided.
Could write 'Can't be arsed' but it is more than that...or maybe less????
I have nothing to give right now (in regards to blogland or other networky type things)....nor do I wish to take anything.
There are things that I am doing...such as walking to the shops with Dad to help him get his shopping, later. And that is how it is.
I have nothing to give right now (in regards to blogland or other networky type things)....nor do I wish to take anything.
There are things that I am doing...such as walking to the shops with Dad to help him get his shopping, later. And that is how it is.
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