Philosophy of The Big Society

David Cameron gets to be God!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

'Being Boring' .....and other facts of life

Know I haven't posted for ages....sometimes I would rather not and so I didn't. Is not like any cake is going to spoil because am not around watching the oven....Lives go on (in their varying ways) and such is how it is.

Blogging today cos I feel like it but can't see it being an everyday gets pretty monot after a while and I really can't be doing with flowering myself up just to get some attention. I know cynical what?

I gather (although was not party to any of it...not doing the Twitter thing) that Stephen Fry got a strop on cos somebody made a comment that his work was getting a bit boring.

He was threatening to leave Twitter etc. I found that quite pathetic really..and yeah I know I am not Mr Fry's biggest fan but he is not a child. Someone commented to me that it doesn't matter what walk of life you are in, if you have mental illness then you should be shown compassion (as in I was not showing him compassion). I actually think that it is more to do with dramatics and over-reacting than anything else. Sure the Fry fanatics will be seeing me as Satan's sister but it is about context and it is about what is actually going on in people's lives rather than 1 non flattering comment in an otherwise adoring following. Perhaps he is so cossetted and has got to a point where he believes all he should get is fawning but I don't think that does anyone any favours really.

In fact, I think I should thank those who have taken time to come on my blog and had a real pop (even though some were as true to themselves as Britain's commitment to peace keeping in the world).

I don't actually think it is okay to be spiteful and venal but it doesn't hurt to reality check (even when you have an illness...maybe it is more important to reality check when you have an illness because there is a vast amount of fakery in this world).

Bottom line is, I think, Stephen Fry acted like a big girl's blouse but I understand all is fine in his Twitter camp...apologies and group hugs abounded..and he can carry on Twittering to his heart's content and those who find him a bit boring will, no doubt, steer clear. After all who would want to feel responsible for the man's departure from that arena????

And so my life carries on ('girl interrupted' enough by such revelations to make comment on her own blog). Still waiting for the local MH Trust to make a decision on which care home it wants to cough up any dosh to send Dad to. The preferred one (by all) having raised it's charges and budget holders recoiling at that face. That situation has rattled on for about a month now.

Dad doesn't want to see me because I really am a She Devil who dared to agree with the shrink that he should try and do a few things (OT..such as it is) and coming out for walks with me. First and last rule of being a daughter - when father is ill: You will be compromised to the max!!!! Actually, that is my interpretation. Dad is just saying he is too ill to see me. Could be paranoia on my part but I know Dad and I know he can sulk for the world when he feels he has been treated unjustly (well, everyone can but it doesn't solve anything....except maybe to serve some sense of personal affrontage).

I have made an appointment to talk to his shrink on Thursday...about compromised positions and to ask him if he really knows what the heck is going on (treatment, longer term aims) and my peripheral role as it is).

I have been advised that a Direct Payment is the next step for me and positive noises are being fed back about chances of getting it. I am not going to hold my breath. Am on 3rd care co-ordinator, this year. But if the application is made and successful, I might just get that consistency I need in my care plan...and life. That is consistency outside of myself...which is still a work in progress.

The big plus is the time I am spending with my daughter. We have a once a week (sometimes twice) time that is ours and it is great. Last week we went shopping in Milton Keynes and yesterday we went swimming.

There's still a bloody great hole in my life but accept that it will be what it will be, whilst I carry on carrying on and until such time as. In the meantime, I do what I can when I can and when I can't I don't.

Non revelationary rallying cries from here..nothing to print in a recovery newsletter. It's maintenance as usual!!


  1. I'm going to stick up for Mr Fry.

    Did you ever wonder why performers need applause every time they do their job well? Why they carry on acting/singin/playing well after their sell-by date? Nobody else does... It's because they NEED the constant proof that they're worthwhile human beings. Without it they shrivel up and die (metaphorically, mostly, but occasionally they will commit suicide).

    So poor old SF takes a fairly innocuous comment as seiously as you would take a stab in the neck, or the complete defamation of your character. It is his whole reason for existence being criticised.

    And, yes, he's a wet girl's blouse too ;)

  2. Stephen Fry thinks nothing of bashing people for entertainment and he wont die from learning that others find him pretentious, boring and vain.

    Yes, performers and artists have their quirks like the rest of us, particularly around their work but most of them are decent thoughtful people just trying to get by.

    Mr Fry has made a lot of money out of his opinions on bi-polar and madness but he hasn't exactly helped people with mental health problems at street level who struggle against the odds to get a service from a system that has set itself the task of modernising services away and using more able people with MH issues like Mr Fry as the rationale for doing this.

    Mr Fry, the darling of the major MH charities that now work hand in hand with the system, is currently championing mental health by claiming it prevents him being able to cope with the most mild forms of criticism on Twitter. Most mental health services users I know deal with major knock backs all the time and they never get any attention. Sure, suffering is relative up to a point but I'd like Mr Fry to take up the offer of swapping lives for a day, not for the cameras but just for the experience.

  3. Hi Robert

    I haven't got a clue what Stephen Fry's reasons for existance are(apart from the obvious physical fact that his parents bought him into this world).

    I am disinclined to find out either....I think I have seen and heard enough of his defamation of other groups of people to know that if he is able to dish it with such gusto he should be able to take it and rather more objectively (if you believe, as I do, that he has intelligence and control enough to do so) than he does.

    I totally agree with anyone who says that Bipolar is a debilitating illness (not just from my own experience of having it but my observations of others who do too) as are many other mental illnesses or 'reclassified' states of being. What I question is how Bipolar Mr Fry is and what affect that has on his ability to lead a consitent life (I don't think most of us would call what he does normal and celebrity comes with it a price of its own...people have to make that choice when they go into that career and in regards to how much of them they share with the rest of the world).

    I am not saying he doesn't have Bipolar, actually, as much as I am saying it doesn't seem to interefere with his capacity as much as it does others. For example Carrie Fisher who is totally at the mercy of the illness.

    And for sure we all have our 'foibles' but fekk me, if I went into freefall everytime someone dared to criticise what I do, disagree with my views or tell me I am a bit boring....I wouldn't get out of bed for fear of someone not finding me fitting. Bollocks to that.

    We (should say I) either live by what we (I) believe and act accordingly (and be judged accordingly) or fanny around trying to please everyone and there's more chance of winning the Euro lottery than that ever happening.

  4. Norm

    They'll be calling us twinnies soon...because my views aren't a million miles away (again) from yours.

    Only I just can't be arsed to be arsed about what charity some celeb is 'championing' these days or why. Is obvious to me before I even hear their name mentioned.

    Lots of joint back patting and feeling smug (has been going on long enough and will continue to go on forever more amen). As long as it is a million miles from me..don't want to know.

    Maybe that is defeatest. I should be out of my pram about it but it won't stop it..and people seem to like be it.

    True the difference it makes to people on the coal face is absolutely sod all but what's new there either?

    It's a bum wrap!!!!

  5. Are you two timing me with Norm?

    That's great you can spend some time with "daughter." How did her sociology thingy go? You're wonderful for your intrepid care for Dad - many people would have given up,or gone spare, or lost their rag resulting in abuse. You absolutely deserve the huge virtual hug I'm giving you now, and a helluva lot more sunshine!

    Stephen Fry, despite his superciliousness (wow! word of the week) is a very funny intellectual and his book - something about Hippopotami (or is that Hippopotamuses?) is uproarious. Don't dismiss him.

  6. I hope you're okay. You should write more often.
    Stalker Dave.