I can't go into all details of today. What I can say is that only through Ms Strident taking the helm did I manage to get the truth from my father and an ambulance sorted.
Spent a half real/half surreal day at the Luton and Dunstable hospital...thanks to a friend who trekked all the way there and back on train and stayed with Dad and me for hours, I handled it better..well, actually handled it.
Dad had blood tests and due to toxicity levels in his liver was put on continual drips. I left him, as settled as anyone in that siutation can be, around 10 pm...once I had sorted him some jammies and gone through the meds with the nurses and had a very long chat with him and the doctor about what had led him to do this. Let's recap over the last 18 months...but not right now!!!!
My most poignant moment of today was suddenly finding myself at a loss as what to do, so I gave him a foot massage. Dad and me don't have the most tactile of relationships but it seemed the only comfort I could offer. Words were irrelevant at that point. I was heartened that he found it soothing and was more than happy for me to continue to do it..and so I did for quite some time. I think till a nurse came along to check his vitals.
And now I am home, thanks to another friend who drove me and made me a cup of strong sweet tea. I need to ring the hospital around 10.30 am to find out how Dad is and what arrangements are being made in regards to supported after care. His support worker who arrived about the same time as the ambulance (after I phoned and insisted on back up from the CMHT)was talking Crisis Team but I fear the Crisis Team will not be able to provide the level of constant monitoring Dad needs.
Anyway, I have an email to write to the Complaints Manager (with a copy to MP) asking for this to be recorded as a Serious Untoward Incident. I think I need to write certain things about negligence and the recent uncertainties in regards to who is supposed to be providing Dad's care....but I am going to sleep on that because now I need to take extra lorazepam so that I do get some sleep.
I feel peculiarly calm...numb. I hope that is my brain's way of cossetting me from going to darker places.
One day I will walk into the light and I will be free. Hmmmmmm
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Oh Mandy, I'm so sorry. I really hope that BLPT will (at last!) pull their finger out and DO something to support your Dad. Hope he is feeling better for having care taken of him, and that all is well this morning (or as well as it can be in the circumstances). Make sure you make time to take care of yourself - you have done really well to cope in such terrible circumstances, but I am sure you are feeling the strain. Try to do something just for yourself today.
ReplyDeleteThanks C
ReplyDeleteI have contacted the ward. Dad is stable. I have asked for a social work assessment and occupational therapy assessment for him as I believe it is unsafe to discharge him without much more support than is available.
If he is discharged today, I am going to have to organise transport as he cannot come home on his own.
I don't think I will be in a position to do something just for me until I am more certain that his safety is assured.
Very worrying but thanks so much for your comments. Is nice to be back in touch. Have missed you.
Hated reading this news Mandy, my heart goes out to you. How you continue to pull inner strength out of the bag is an absolute inspiration. Thanks to you he got through that one. It's an awful situation to have to cope with to say the least.
ReplyDeleteHow typical of the support worker to try and pass the buck. It just infuriates me that a human life is treated like pass the parcel between one department and another and in the meantime no care is given and this is the result. Shocking!!
In the absence of being able to do/say anything useful at this point just want to say I hear you and empathise, and send much love. As Disillusioned suggests, try and make a bit of space for yourself sometime soon. :-( XX
I'm so sorry this has happened Mandy. I very much hope it will galvanise services into actually getting your Dad the support he needs. The strength you keep somehow pulling out of yourself is amazing, please take care.
ReplyDeleteAll my thoughts and wishes, J x
Mandy - I am so sorry for you .
ReplyDeleteThese wretched UK wide MH services and so called modernised systems are just poverty by another name for many Users...
If you need any support and back up you know where to contact me
You are right, it does need to be registered as an SUI and your MP needs to be involved for support and observation ..
Sadly the services are really capable of killing people at one at two removes from direct acceptance of more responsibility.
Once again, so sorry for you are your dad ..I'll be in contact with you .
PG .
Hope you're bearing up Mand, its a horrible scenario with your dad and so avoidable too but BLPT simply isnt functioning in the patient interest any more . I hope the SUI results in senior managers being raked over the coals as you've been warning that this would happen for ages and BLPT seems to have done very little to address your concerns.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you look after you too.
I'm sorry you're going through this Mandy, I hope some buck will stop this time and someone will do something. Sending you my heartfelt sympathies. Dx
ReplyDeleteSORRY... I was in a rush - I've corrected the mistakes now in my previous text .
ReplyDeleteMandy - I am so sorry for you .
These wretched UK wide MH services and so called modernised systems are just poverty by another name for many Users...
If you need any support and back up you know where to contact me
You are right, it does need to be registered as an SUI and your MP needs to be involved for support and observation ..
Sadly the services are really capable of killing people at one or two removes from direct acceptance of more responsibility.
Once again, so sorry for you and your dad ..I'll be in contact with you .
PG .
Thank you all for your support and best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI will be in touch individually soon. Am bit bushed from day's goings on.
It seems I have lost my door keys. OOOOPS! Thankfully, have Dad's spares until I can get new ones cut.
Been up the hospital all afternoon and into the evening. Dad seems a bit chipper but I know him.. Up and down and further down.
Like you all, I am hoping that this time there is some substantial care provision put in place for him.
Gonna curl up for a rest and watch Midsommer Murders now.
Hugs to everyone xxx
Mandy !
ReplyDeleteHope the bloody Trust (or shall we call it un- Trust ?) will sort your Dad'd care out now.I am guessing you're answer is "I'm not holding my breath !"
Take care and sending mega big hugs.
Love
Sis xxxx
Hi Sis
ReplyDeleteYou really have to judge an organisation by its track record and so far all they have shown is how lacking the services are...
Thank fekk they aren't a rapid response team. It would take them a week to decide who should decide what to do.
Hugs xx
Hi Mandy,
ReplyDeleteJust to say hope you're ok, and that i'm thinking of you.
Take care,
A.
Thanks A
ReplyDeleteSometimes I am so together about it all...sort of getting on with it in auto pilot...and then...well, no need to write how that is.
You take care too :>)