Could be manic...could be not..and people leaving that I didn't even get a chance to read about

Have been up since whenever. That is how it is.

Flitting between blogland and facebook and the funny old places that go with being me.

Whilst surfing, not even sure what I was looking for, came across Calum Carr's blog. You know, I hadn't even read any postings there before today. Not a crime because there are so many blogs (all as worthy as each other and in different ways..although sure that is an individual taste thing) but read his last posting as in he was writing that he was leaving blogland and very good luck to him with that. I hope he can focus on what he needs to focus on..but also if he comes back to blogland that is how it should be. That old "Never Say Never" thing that I think is about as good as it gets.

I am sure I am not the only one (because I come across it as I surf) who often wonders to what point am I blogging? Is it actually helping me...should I take time out and focus on other things..should I get a life that doesn't involve blogging. Well, self confessed lonely sad fekk that I am, there isn't much of a life going on. I don't blame anything but myself cos it is down to me and my shit - SHOCK HORROR - someone admits...in full view of whoever...that they are lonely!!! And quite possibly over and unhealthy associating itself with Dad isn't helping. Anyway, that is another something or other not to be dealing with right now.

Have become interested in Panic Room's blogging and they are involved in some kind of therapy. Early stages (and from what I gather) is via the internet (at least initially). I am tentatively interested. Everything is tentative for me at present. Having had therapy, at different times but most probably everytime for the same reason, and none of it helping much at all (rather doing the opposite) am reluctant to open myself up...just to unravel and end up back in a psychiatric unit. However, this could be something that helps me. I am not signing up for it yet (if ever) but there is a book (there's books for everything these days) that I will be buying when I have the money..and if I think it might help to do something a bit more formal and interactive, will take it from there. Sometimes is a case of nothing ventured nothing gained, especially if there isn't much to lose except £10.

And so as the words start to merge on this page, am going to head off. I am apt to ramble at present...and not write anything of any validity to anyone else but me but, I guess, in the grand scheme of things that doesn't really matter...unless one has or feels a sense of responsibility to write for others more than themselves. If that is selfish then it can be added to the list of things that piss you off about me. Yes, I do wonder at what people make of me...but is not like that is actually apt to make me a better person. We all have to deal with the inside out and then the outside back in again (however we do it).

Etc.etc. blah dee blah. Time for some IMPRO!