About last night

I can reflect back and see the comical side of it. Of being human.

Although was in Sloth mode and actively seeking to stay that way, friend (Bettie) asked me to go to a hospital appointment with her. Another friend (Barnie) gave us a lift there, which meant we didn't have to negotiate around public transport.

There are times when I really should say "No".

All was ticking along, we got some petrol and the nice man in the petrol station waved us goodbye, until we were travelling up the Dunstable Road and I started feeling weird...panic attack weird. For me it starts off with physical feelings and then the neurosis kicks in. Attempted to deap breathe and do some CBT (NO MAND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE>>REMEBER ALL THE TIMES YOU HAVEN'T DIED BEFORE)but was continuing to hyperventilate, in amongst this was intermittently taking in noise from the front. "Can you turn this heating down is like an oven in here" and "Watch that lorry"

Dropped half a loz and waited for it to kick in. Was still waiting whilst a debate about where to park took place. I was playing neutral. Neither wanted to pay the hospital car park fee so we drove round until we found a space with lower parking rate. Then there was problem over having the right change. It was 60p....hunt for 10p ensued.

I got out of the car, loz still not kicked in. Bettie thanked me so much for going with her. I said "It's really nothing" and she put her arm through mine. Sometimes, I am such a little lier!!!!

We got to the reception area, Bettie signed in...whilst Barnie was telling me how they thought they had caught malaria (on a trip to Lanzarote in 1984) and needed to go to the GP for tests. I laughed. Perhaps it was nerves..that moment when the tension turns to something more ludicrous.

Then Bettie and I went through to the waiting room. Barnie waited outside. We were still waiting three quarters of an hour later. Somewhere in this, the loz kicked in. All was not, mind numbingly, lost though. An episode of Golden Balls was on the tv there. Never watched it before but it is all about contestants who get given golden balls and inside these balls are amounts of money.There are nasty balls, known as Killers. The art of the game is for the winner to get the most money...avoiding the Killers. Yep, I was pretty engrossed. Not much else to be engrossed in...apart from a sea of bored, with underlying worry, faces. There is always an air of menace about hospital waiting rooms. Bettie was called in and I waited another half hour whilst the consultant saw them.

By the time Bettie came out, telling me she would have to wait for test results, I was starving so asked if we could stop somewhere. When we found Barnie he was saying we had to go back to the petrol station because he was £10 down. So the bloke hadn't been waving at us as a friendly gesture then? No he had been waving the £10 note!

Bettie's mobile rang and it was her son. Completely oblivious to the fact she had just had a hospital appointment and asking her for one of his friend's phone numbers. This got her goat and so she was raving about how thoughtless he was.

Was relieved when we got to McDonald's. Sometimes, I need a guilty pleasure. This came in the form of a filet of fish, large fries and a 3 foot container of coffee (slight exaggeration).

Duly stuffed, we headed home. By this time I was feeling a sense of impending relief and we all arrived safely.

Bettie jumped out of the car, said "It's time for 'Eastenders', Bye" and I was left with Barnie. I thanked him for the lift and taking me for food and said I would catch up another day. Normally, would invite him in for a cuppa but I had had it. I wanted the sanctity of my own foor walls.

For some reason, as bizarre as last night seemed, that Frankie Vallie song is going through my head now(Oh What A Night!) but this seems more apt to me.