Wrote this title because have been thinking...about my illness and the continual chain of physical debilitation I am suffering. I also got a bit pre-occupied (but only a bit) with yesterday's interview and thought is there a level of arrogance about me? Answer to that is maybe but, particularly in regards to my reticence in doing any more media type activities, is more that I don't want to be boxed into anything.
There is a free spirit inside me. Sadly, she is tied up most of the time..either trying to maintain some kind of acceptable (to me) mental state or trying to deal with one physical problem after another...and in amongst that doing her best to encourage and support a father to keep going. Not forgetting her daughter, who although is doing her thing, still needs her Mum in contact and to sound off to when necessary. Argggh!
So whatever energy and space there is left for my free spirit, I want to keep it as free as possible.
A one off activity.. and infrequently... relating to something I either feel strongly about, find interesting (or both) is fine but the thought of BEING/FEELING OBLIGED to get involved is not my bag.
I am not (mercifully) being bombarded with offers of interviews, conferences, presentations etc. I have done the rounds of group participation, giving speeches and busying myself in things that ultimately led to fekk all. Like a treadmill of good works that go nowhere!!!
I very much prefer to be proactively detached from most of what goes on in the system and most things are all about the system or lead back there. YAK!
So...as much as Lareve (and bless you, Lareve, for thinking that I would be up to such a charge) can see me as a kind of advocate for service users. I would last about half a day, before some bureaucrat would twat me off and I would use terminology most un-beffiting of someone with that level of responsibility. Ha!
And this fekkin' virus is not playing ball with the medication!!!! My tablets run out tomorrow so it will be another round of back to the doc spot for further advice and probably stronger meds. Whoopie doo!
For those who cannot watch animal cruelty, please don't watch the next video. Reality leaves a poor taste in the mouth but, for some, the reality is not a personal choice:
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Actually Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI did say that tongue in cheek, I still think you would be a good spokesperson but I think I know you enough to know a compartmentalised advocat/ambassador role would not be you.
Hoping your day and Shingles are ok
Lareve
Hi Lareve
ReplyDeleteWell somewhere between Saturday and today the Shingles has turned out to be an infection. I am now on anti-biotics.
I know you wrote it tongue in cheek..I can't apply myself to anything for more than a few hours and too right people trying to stick me in a compartment would soon be given short sharp shift. :>)
In spite of everything, my spirits are in good spirits. x