Thursday, 7 January 2010
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Incognito....but I think it warrants exposure
Ode to Mandy.
Shall I compare thee to the Pennine Way
Thou art more tiring with your tongue of slate Rough winds discomfort thee all day And Luton's lease doth bring a lousy gate.
Sometime too hot the screaming neuron shines And often is her warm demeanor dimmed And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or govt's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal ranting shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that bill thou ow'st; Nor shall Louis brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When Appleby's lines to nimhe thou blow'st,
So long as men can cock it up you see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T DO ME THE DISHONOUR OF COMPARING ME TO A SUMMER'S DAY. If the cap fits then I will wear it :>)
Shall I compare thee to the Pennine Way
Thou art more tiring with your tongue of slate Rough winds discomfort thee all day And Luton's lease doth bring a lousy gate.
Sometime too hot the screaming neuron shines And often is her warm demeanor dimmed And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or govt's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal ranting shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that bill thou ow'st; Nor shall Louis brag thou wand'rest in his shade, When Appleby's lines to nimhe thou blow'st,
So long as men can cock it up you see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T DO ME THE DISHONOUR OF COMPARING ME TO A SUMMER'S DAY. If the cap fits then I will wear it :>)
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Alive and mostly avoiding shite that is avoidable
No New Year's rezzies...no great expectations... but also not trying to allow myself to be dragged into even darker corners by what the next government (whomever they are) are likely to do to the most vulnerable in order to save face. What will be will be and am no amount of venting on a blog (or the tokenistic - to quote the pseudo SU svengali La Creepass K - "faux representation" will make slightest bit of difference.
I have heard that charities are a bit spooked because the reciprocal arrangement they had with government seems to no longer be reciprocal..as in the coffers are not freely available. I don't think they ever should have been but politics and charities have been intermingled in a way not best suiting some of us(and also questionable as in to whose best interest that was in). Still, not my problem. I don't rely on charities to support me and I am relieved because they tend to let people down pretty badly. Season of Goodwill it may be (last dregs) but I won't forget what they did to Tommy.
Anyway, I am AT SOME POINT, going to be getting a direct payment. 3.5 hours per week of carer's time to do things that are 'therapeutic'. 6 month agreeement with review at the end of it. I think it will be 6 months only because (if nothing else) the cuts in public spending will most probably be the nail in the coffin of such things.
Dad is (if things go according to most recent plan..they have tended to change as each week goes by) moving into the care home on Monday. Everyone has a view on care homes. My view and that shared by Em is this is as good as it gets for Dad...certainly for forseeable future. The home is a bit like a Guest House in appearance, internal decor etc. Our major concern is quality of care and both the manager and deputy manager have bent over backwards to help us to help Dad and although I can't see into the future (and know what the care will be like) it is better than some of the places there are on offer and I hope he will find comfort and something resembling proper care there. Is much freer than that shitty unit...and we can visit (more or less) whenever we want to and Dad wants us to.
Has been nightmare trying to organise his stuff but we have managed to get what he needs from the flat to the home and went on big shop to buy him new things (clothes etc). Was pretty grim sorting his stuff..because all memories from the flat were shit ones and was very personal thing to do..but it had to be done and has been.
Removal firm clearing furniture mid-week and then, hopefully, will be a fresh start for us all. I don't know how Dad will be...whether his state of mind will improve at all but think it was never going to improve in hospital, or in that flat. Pumping drugs into people and then leaving them to fester, I don't think, is the answer but Dad also has to want to have a better life..a liveable one. That is out of my hands. I have done all I can to get him to this point...I really now want to focus on being his daughter (and maybe a more one dimensional daughter at that)..and to focus on me.
I feel that it is now my time..whatever that actually pans out to be. I want to be a bit more selfish and free to do things without having to fret or deal with incoming demands often veering towards burdensville (real or potential).
Am hoping for something like a thawing out period. Where there is nothing that HAS TO BE DONE.
Apologies to those who have tried to keep me updated on latest goings on : politics, representation, NHS wise but mostly (as in title) I have been avoiding that stuff. It irritates the hell out of me and is not like I can change anything...all I can do is filter out the stuff that gives me nosebleeds.
2010....could be a better year. Then again...Ha! Ha!
I have heard that charities are a bit spooked because the reciprocal arrangement they had with government seems to no longer be reciprocal..as in the coffers are not freely available. I don't think they ever should have been but politics and charities have been intermingled in a way not best suiting some of us(and also questionable as in to whose best interest that was in). Still, not my problem. I don't rely on charities to support me and I am relieved because they tend to let people down pretty badly. Season of Goodwill it may be (last dregs) but I won't forget what they did to Tommy.
Anyway, I am AT SOME POINT, going to be getting a direct payment. 3.5 hours per week of carer's time to do things that are 'therapeutic'. 6 month agreeement with review at the end of it. I think it will be 6 months only because (if nothing else) the cuts in public spending will most probably be the nail in the coffin of such things.
Dad is (if things go according to most recent plan..they have tended to change as each week goes by) moving into the care home on Monday. Everyone has a view on care homes. My view and that shared by Em is this is as good as it gets for Dad...certainly for forseeable future. The home is a bit like a Guest House in appearance, internal decor etc. Our major concern is quality of care and both the manager and deputy manager have bent over backwards to help us to help Dad and although I can't see into the future (and know what the care will be like) it is better than some of the places there are on offer and I hope he will find comfort and something resembling proper care there. Is much freer than that shitty unit...and we can visit (more or less) whenever we want to and Dad wants us to.
Has been nightmare trying to organise his stuff but we have managed to get what he needs from the flat to the home and went on big shop to buy him new things (clothes etc). Was pretty grim sorting his stuff..because all memories from the flat were shit ones and was very personal thing to do..but it had to be done and has been.
Removal firm clearing furniture mid-week and then, hopefully, will be a fresh start for us all. I don't know how Dad will be...whether his state of mind will improve at all but think it was never going to improve in hospital, or in that flat. Pumping drugs into people and then leaving them to fester, I don't think, is the answer but Dad also has to want to have a better life..a liveable one. That is out of my hands. I have done all I can to get him to this point...I really now want to focus on being his daughter (and maybe a more one dimensional daughter at that)..and to focus on me.
I feel that it is now my time..whatever that actually pans out to be. I want to be a bit more selfish and free to do things without having to fret or deal with incoming demands often veering towards burdensville (real or potential).
Am hoping for something like a thawing out period. Where there is nothing that HAS TO BE DONE.
Apologies to those who have tried to keep me updated on latest goings on : politics, representation, NHS wise but mostly (as in title) I have been avoiding that stuff. It irritates the hell out of me and is not like I can change anything...all I can do is filter out the stuff that gives me nosebleeds.
2010....could be a better year. Then again...Ha! Ha!
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED AND NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE FOR IT
Nor will I apologise for not 'conforming' to the 'accepted norms' (heartily reinforced by MH moguls) ...and if they lower themselves down from their ivory towers and read this - Yes you are all useless, wasting, self serving, wankers who have betrayed people. You should be fucking ashamed of yourselves rather than patting each other on the back and giving yourselves awards for such betrayals.
Haven't ventured myself to other blogs...due to sense that there has been a conserted effort to water down mental illness, to make those who have it feel more ashamed to admit that in spite of the myriad of recovery agendas....propoganda campaigns and the millions of pounds that have gone down the swanny (even the civil servants can't put their hands on the exact amounts)...that there are still many of us flaying about trying to exist...STILL ILL!!!!
I don't need pep talks about personal responsiblity....I get my arse out of bed every morning, keep house, pay bills, go walkabouts...brush my teeth a couple of times a day and do my bit to mingle pleasantly with other members of the race I come into contact with, such times I am outside.
I don't need to be sent newsletters with pictures of 'Recovery Ron', half way up Mount Everest with the by line "This could be you" followed by phone calls from a MH charity asking me for a donation, although the last one that rang got a direct question in regards to where the money actually goes and couldn't answer it. Well, if I don't know where the money is going..then it isn't going from me to them. If I want this stuff, I will go find it for myself...and I don't.
I am heartened by and glad for those who do feel better (or feel they are heading in the right direction) but I am sickened by those who constantly manipulate in order to preserve some central control and dictate over what is other people's states of being and dumbfounded that so many believe the shit that is pumped out or, at the very least, are too scared to challenge it.
Like these organisations have the right to scare people into compliance, whether people believe in it or not.
I am scared of things in myself (my experiences/feelings past and present) but I am not scared of any of them and I won't be mediocritized into 3 point planning a recovery of their making.
Have ventured to Aethelread's blog. I don't blame him for not wanting open debates. Sometimes...the need to hold what there is of the core together is more important than allowing others to have democratic input...and anyway....often as not the pack dictates the level of democracy and don't delude yourself that blogland is any less 'pack' dominated than other walks of life. I certainly have taken a few sharp blows because I have kept comments open. I won't change that but that is my choice. I give out and I take back.....and I will keep giving out cos I am nobody's PATSY!!!!
I mentioned A's blog because of his reference to another pack. I don't do packs anymore and I certainly don't mix well with academic packs because they often miss the plot when it comes to feelings and experiences (real lives) and theorise rather than empathise. Too damn right abuse is rife in care services....and too damn right there is no accountability because that is not what is wanted (on high). It's all seeping through the cracks now with NHS Trusts (at last) being shown up for the messes they are in. The staff will blame the management, the management will try and get the lawyers to damage limit..the government will deny any responsibility..but I sense more horror stories to follow. I can hope that the overseeing bodies have the power to implement change but fear that 'bureaucracy' and pre-occupations of politicians (in regards to personal political survival) will prevent much of anything that will lead to improvements.
So another turn of the roundabout begins.
Someone spoke to me about the need for 'Champions' the other day. I think they saw themselves as a bit of a champion. Problem being they were aligned to another quango which in turn was aligned to several other quangos and so it goes. I dunno about champions but people with some savvy (and resources...independant of government funding) to develop something more democratic is long overdue. Yeah same old same as dilemmas.
Maybe just maybe the government withdrawing funding from charities will encourage them to be more independant.....or they may go under. I would rather have no charities than those acting 'undemocratically'.
And getting rid of the 'Celeb a thons'...as another friend said, those celebs who would turn up at the opening of an envelope to get some publicity...that would be good too.
Would it stop me getting depressed? Nah, but it would stop me thinking that people are being shafted something rottern for the chosen few.
Haven't ventured myself to other blogs...due to sense that there has been a conserted effort to water down mental illness, to make those who have it feel more ashamed to admit that in spite of the myriad of recovery agendas....propoganda campaigns and the millions of pounds that have gone down the swanny (even the civil servants can't put their hands on the exact amounts)...that there are still many of us flaying about trying to exist...STILL ILL!!!!
I don't need pep talks about personal responsiblity....I get my arse out of bed every morning, keep house, pay bills, go walkabouts...brush my teeth a couple of times a day and do my bit to mingle pleasantly with other members of the race I come into contact with, such times I am outside.
I don't need to be sent newsletters with pictures of 'Recovery Ron', half way up Mount Everest with the by line "This could be you" followed by phone calls from a MH charity asking me for a donation, although the last one that rang got a direct question in regards to where the money actually goes and couldn't answer it. Well, if I don't know where the money is going..then it isn't going from me to them. If I want this stuff, I will go find it for myself...and I don't.
I am heartened by and glad for those who do feel better (or feel they are heading in the right direction) but I am sickened by those who constantly manipulate in order to preserve some central control and dictate over what is other people's states of being and dumbfounded that so many believe the shit that is pumped out or, at the very least, are too scared to challenge it.
Like these organisations have the right to scare people into compliance, whether people believe in it or not.
I am scared of things in myself (my experiences/feelings past and present) but I am not scared of any of them and I won't be mediocritized into 3 point planning a recovery of their making.
Have ventured to Aethelread's blog. I don't blame him for not wanting open debates. Sometimes...the need to hold what there is of the core together is more important than allowing others to have democratic input...and anyway....often as not the pack dictates the level of democracy and don't delude yourself that blogland is any less 'pack' dominated than other walks of life. I certainly have taken a few sharp blows because I have kept comments open. I won't change that but that is my choice. I give out and I take back.....and I will keep giving out cos I am nobody's PATSY!!!!
I mentioned A's blog because of his reference to another pack. I don't do packs anymore and I certainly don't mix well with academic packs because they often miss the plot when it comes to feelings and experiences (real lives) and theorise rather than empathise. Too damn right abuse is rife in care services....and too damn right there is no accountability because that is not what is wanted (on high). It's all seeping through the cracks now with NHS Trusts (at last) being shown up for the messes they are in. The staff will blame the management, the management will try and get the lawyers to damage limit..the government will deny any responsibility..but I sense more horror stories to follow. I can hope that the overseeing bodies have the power to implement change but fear that 'bureaucracy' and pre-occupations of politicians (in regards to personal political survival) will prevent much of anything that will lead to improvements.
So another turn of the roundabout begins.
Someone spoke to me about the need for 'Champions' the other day. I think they saw themselves as a bit of a champion. Problem being they were aligned to another quango which in turn was aligned to several other quangos and so it goes. I dunno about champions but people with some savvy (and resources...independant of government funding) to develop something more democratic is long overdue. Yeah same old same as dilemmas.
Maybe just maybe the government withdrawing funding from charities will encourage them to be more independant.....or they may go under. I would rather have no charities than those acting 'undemocratically'.
And getting rid of the 'Celeb a thons'...as another friend said, those celebs who would turn up at the opening of an envelope to get some publicity...that would be good too.
Would it stop me getting depressed? Nah, but it would stop me thinking that people are being shafted something rottern for the chosen few.
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
The rise and rise of the bourjois busybodies
Haven't felt need to write a blog post.
Illness and winter = intertia
However, and as usual, am jolted back into 'angry mode' by latest politically correct do gooders (all of whom you could count the good they have done on an empty abbacus) laying into Morrisey and his comments on suicide being honourable.
Now everyone has opinions on suicide and more so those who have taken their own lives but what twats me off the most is these 'charitable figureheads' prattling on about the damage Morrisey's views do to others. Bollocks...and utter bollocks that is.
I doubt Tommy's decision to take his own life was based on any celebrity's stance on suicide and I actually think that there was some honour in Tommy's suicide. More so his absolute right to take his life if he felt it the only option for him. Could debate community's and local charity's role in his downfall alongside punitive attempts by MH Trust at providing appropropriate treatment and care for him, as the individual he was. Tommy is gone, FACT and all the meddlings of the middle classes at the 'soundbite' level aren't going to change that or much for anyone else who feels suicidal/attempts suicide in future. They really do over-estimate their significance in relation to real lives and deaths.
Going off on a tangent here because I have many thoughts bouncing around in my head about this....there is and should always be artistic license in an artist's work. I doubt the MH PC police would be seeking to have every copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' banished from the world because one of the key characters kills herself...and certainly her suicide is portrayed as 'honourable' (well I think so...but that could be another cause for debate).
Morrisey is an artist and one whose illness and experiences are reflected in his work. You don't have to like it. Is optional to buy it...but he sings and talks about what is real to him. A rarity in this world of highly commercialised and conveyor belt production music.
I guess if I heard one comment come forth from the mouths of the (doing nicely out of this racket) 'MH representatives', I might feel more inclined to let some crass statement by La Wallace go but, for fekk sake, is really like listening to a passerby telling a young child off for stealing a lolly from a shop, when, behind their back, a group of public shcool boys are ransacking the place..and that is giving La Wallace the benefit of the doubt. I actually think she is acutely aware of the games that are being played and rather deal with pressing issues such as the destruction of the NHS and betrayal of people with mental illness by charities...making a comment about Morrissey is more likely to guarantee her getting an interview with the media.
Shoddy, below the belt and typical of how these 'self proclaimed' figureheads behave.
The sooner they fekk off and find something useful to do...like stacking shelves in Sainsburies...the better!!!!!
Illness and winter = intertia
However, and as usual, am jolted back into 'angry mode' by latest politically correct do gooders (all of whom you could count the good they have done on an empty abbacus) laying into Morrisey and his comments on suicide being honourable.
Now everyone has opinions on suicide and more so those who have taken their own lives but what twats me off the most is these 'charitable figureheads' prattling on about the damage Morrisey's views do to others. Bollocks...and utter bollocks that is.
I doubt Tommy's decision to take his own life was based on any celebrity's stance on suicide and I actually think that there was some honour in Tommy's suicide. More so his absolute right to take his life if he felt it the only option for him. Could debate community's and local charity's role in his downfall alongside punitive attempts by MH Trust at providing appropropriate treatment and care for him, as the individual he was. Tommy is gone, FACT and all the meddlings of the middle classes at the 'soundbite' level aren't going to change that or much for anyone else who feels suicidal/attempts suicide in future. They really do over-estimate their significance in relation to real lives and deaths.
Going off on a tangent here because I have many thoughts bouncing around in my head about this....there is and should always be artistic license in an artist's work. I doubt the MH PC police would be seeking to have every copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' banished from the world because one of the key characters kills herself...and certainly her suicide is portrayed as 'honourable' (well I think so...but that could be another cause for debate).
Morrisey is an artist and one whose illness and experiences are reflected in his work. You don't have to like it. Is optional to buy it...but he sings and talks about what is real to him. A rarity in this world of highly commercialised and conveyor belt production music.
I guess if I heard one comment come forth from the mouths of the (doing nicely out of this racket) 'MH representatives', I might feel more inclined to let some crass statement by La Wallace go but, for fekk sake, is really like listening to a passerby telling a young child off for stealing a lolly from a shop, when, behind their back, a group of public shcool boys are ransacking the place..and that is giving La Wallace the benefit of the doubt. I actually think she is acutely aware of the games that are being played and rather deal with pressing issues such as the destruction of the NHS and betrayal of people with mental illness by charities...making a comment about Morrissey is more likely to guarantee her getting an interview with the media.
Shoddy, below the belt and typical of how these 'self proclaimed' figureheads behave.
The sooner they fekk off and find something useful to do...like stacking shelves in Sainsburies...the better!!!!!
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
'Being Boring' .....and other facts of life
Know I haven't posted for ages....sometimes I would rather not and so I didn't. Is not like any cake is going to spoil because am not around watching the oven....Lives go on (in their varying ways) and such is how it is.
Blogging today cos I feel like it but can't see it being an everyday thing....it gets pretty monot after a while and I really can't be doing with flowering myself up just to get some attention. I know cynical hag...so what?
I gather (although was not party to any of it...not doing the Twitter thing) that Stephen Fry got a strop on cos somebody made a comment that his work was getting a bit boring.
He was threatening to leave Twitter etc. I found that quite pathetic really..and yeah I know I am not Mr Fry's biggest fan but he is not a child. Someone commented to me that it doesn't matter what walk of life you are in, if you have mental illness then you should be shown compassion (as in I was not showing him compassion). I actually think that it is more to do with dramatics and over-reacting than anything else. Sure the Fry fanatics will be seeing me as Satan's sister but it is about context and it is about what is actually going on in people's lives rather than 1 non flattering comment in an otherwise adoring following. Perhaps he is so cossetted and has got to a point where he believes all he should get is fawning but I don't think that does anyone any favours really.
In fact, I think I should thank those who have taken time to come on my blog and had a real pop (even though some were as true to themselves as Britain's commitment to peace keeping in the world).
I don't actually think it is okay to be spiteful and venal but it doesn't hurt to reality check (even when you have an illness...maybe it is more important to reality check when you have an illness because there is a vast amount of fakery in this world).
Bottom line is, I think, Stephen Fry acted like a big girl's blouse but I understand all is fine in his Twitter camp...apologies and group hugs abounded..and he can carry on Twittering to his heart's content and those who find him a bit boring will, no doubt, steer clear. After all who would want to feel responsible for the man's departure from that arena????
And so my life carries on ('girl interrupted' enough by such revelations to make comment on her own blog). Still waiting for the local MH Trust to make a decision on which care home it wants to cough up any dosh to send Dad to. The preferred one (by all) having raised it's charges and budget holders recoiling at that face. That situation has rattled on for about a month now.
Dad doesn't want to see me because I really am a She Devil who dared to agree with the shrink that he should try and do a few things (OT..such as it is) and coming out for walks with me. First and last rule of being a daughter - when father is ill: You will be compromised to the max!!!! Actually, that is my interpretation. Dad is just saying he is too ill to see me. Could be paranoia on my part but I know Dad and I know he can sulk for the world when he feels he has been treated unjustly (well, everyone can but it doesn't solve anything....except maybe to serve some sense of personal affrontage).
I have made an appointment to talk to his shrink on Thursday...about compromised positions and to ask him if he really knows what the heck is going on (treatment, longer term aims) and my peripheral role as it is).
I have been advised that a Direct Payment is the next step for me and positive noises are being fed back about chances of getting it. I am not going to hold my breath. Am on 3rd care co-ordinator, this year. But if the application is made and successful, I might just get that consistency I need in my care plan...and life. That is consistency outside of myself...which is still a work in progress.
The big plus is the time I am spending with my daughter. We have a once a week (sometimes twice) time that is ours and it is great. Last week we went shopping in Milton Keynes and yesterday we went swimming.
There's still a bloody great hole in my life but accept that it will be what it will be, whilst I carry on carrying on and until such time as. In the meantime, I do what I can when I can and when I can't I don't.
Non revelationary rallying cries from here..nothing to print in a recovery newsletter. It's maintenance as usual!!
Blogging today cos I feel like it but can't see it being an everyday thing....it gets pretty monot after a while and I really can't be doing with flowering myself up just to get some attention. I know cynical hag...so what?
I gather (although was not party to any of it...not doing the Twitter thing) that Stephen Fry got a strop on cos somebody made a comment that his work was getting a bit boring.
He was threatening to leave Twitter etc. I found that quite pathetic really..and yeah I know I am not Mr Fry's biggest fan but he is not a child. Someone commented to me that it doesn't matter what walk of life you are in, if you have mental illness then you should be shown compassion (as in I was not showing him compassion). I actually think that it is more to do with dramatics and over-reacting than anything else. Sure the Fry fanatics will be seeing me as Satan's sister but it is about context and it is about what is actually going on in people's lives rather than 1 non flattering comment in an otherwise adoring following. Perhaps he is so cossetted and has got to a point where he believes all he should get is fawning but I don't think that does anyone any favours really.
In fact, I think I should thank those who have taken time to come on my blog and had a real pop (even though some were as true to themselves as Britain's commitment to peace keeping in the world).
I don't actually think it is okay to be spiteful and venal but it doesn't hurt to reality check (even when you have an illness...maybe it is more important to reality check when you have an illness because there is a vast amount of fakery in this world).
Bottom line is, I think, Stephen Fry acted like a big girl's blouse but I understand all is fine in his Twitter camp...apologies and group hugs abounded..and he can carry on Twittering to his heart's content and those who find him a bit boring will, no doubt, steer clear. After all who would want to feel responsible for the man's departure from that arena????
And so my life carries on ('girl interrupted' enough by such revelations to make comment on her own blog). Still waiting for the local MH Trust to make a decision on which care home it wants to cough up any dosh to send Dad to. The preferred one (by all) having raised it's charges and budget holders recoiling at that face. That situation has rattled on for about a month now.
Dad doesn't want to see me because I really am a She Devil who dared to agree with the shrink that he should try and do a few things (OT..such as it is) and coming out for walks with me. First and last rule of being a daughter - when father is ill: You will be compromised to the max!!!! Actually, that is my interpretation. Dad is just saying he is too ill to see me. Could be paranoia on my part but I know Dad and I know he can sulk for the world when he feels he has been treated unjustly (well, everyone can but it doesn't solve anything....except maybe to serve some sense of personal affrontage).
I have made an appointment to talk to his shrink on Thursday...about compromised positions and to ask him if he really knows what the heck is going on (treatment, longer term aims) and my peripheral role as it is).
I have been advised that a Direct Payment is the next step for me and positive noises are being fed back about chances of getting it. I am not going to hold my breath. Am on 3rd care co-ordinator, this year. But if the application is made and successful, I might just get that consistency I need in my care plan...and life. That is consistency outside of myself...which is still a work in progress.
The big plus is the time I am spending with my daughter. We have a once a week (sometimes twice) time that is ours and it is great. Last week we went shopping in Milton Keynes and yesterday we went swimming.
There's still a bloody great hole in my life but accept that it will be what it will be, whilst I carry on carrying on and until such time as. In the meantime, I do what I can when I can and when I can't I don't.
Non revelationary rallying cries from here..nothing to print in a recovery newsletter. It's maintenance as usual!!
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