Could write 'Can't be arsed' but it is more than that...or maybe less????
I have nothing to give right now (in regards to blogland or other networky type things)....nor do I wish to take anything.
There are things that I am doing...such as walking to the shops with Dad to help him get his shopping, later. And that is how it is.
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Nice to chat to you ealrier. I just wanted to check you are ok. I get the feeling things are piling up again. Glad you had some compamy with Craig. Hoping things with your Dad went well. x
ReplyDeleteHi Lareve
ReplyDeleteWas good to talk to you too.
Actually Craig was good company but after he left was in weird place because is like the devil and the deep blue sea. For every good time there is a bad time...so I am limiting time with him. One day per week...as have enough to deal with, without the outbursts and demands that can go with being around him. And maybe I am some kind of arsehole for letting him be around me....but this world is a cold and desolate place and he is scarred as I am. At least we know the score in regards to where we stand in the grand scheme of things...absolutely nowhere!!!!
Was a fucking nightmare walking to shops with Dad. He is petrified of the outside. Then he fell over 4 times in the snow, I went down twice with him. By the time he got to the shops he was in a kind of shock and I had to hold him up whilst the shop owner got him a chair to sit on. I rang a taxi to take us back. I know it is only a 10 minute walk but he was in no fit state to do anything. We had to wait half an hour and I was trying to pacify him whilst people stared as us like we were from outer space.
Back at his place, I got him a warm drink and some biccies and stayed with him a few hours before heading home.
Am lozzed out now. It is the only way to manage myself and him.
Sorry, I am not all happy la la but I really can't see anything to be happy clapping about from here.
Avoiding other blogs at present because I don't trust myself not to write "Fuck, fuck, fuck" all over them and alienate the odd person who clocks how it is for me rather than sees me as "That woman who won't play ball" when I don't even know where the ball is anymore.
Fekk it!
You take some time there hun
ReplyDeleteDip into blogland as YOu see fit it won;t be going anywhere.
Nightmare with your Dad hopefully when he over the shock he will see the effort you are trying to make. Took my Quetiapine tonight (I know turnaround) but will write about that some other time. Best get off to bed or I will be in no fit state come tommorow as the drug zap me.
As for Craig I think limiting yourself and maybe building the relationship back slowly sounds sensible
Here if needed
Lareve