Tried posting this as a comment on Abysmal Musing's site (and in response to Dave's blog post)but I haven't sussed how to get the word verification to load..or perhaps I am not patient enough ...as it is was taking a long time.
Can I throw in the kitchen sink, Dave? As in think you have covered alot of ground in one post. Although am not totally lost, anymore than I was before I read the post :>)
Existentialism..I thought that was something to do with additions to the home. Ha! Not the brightest button in the tin when it comes to 'theories', me.
Do get the thing about 'being here' and clocking that it was not necessarily a good or evil act that bought me here (but sure it was with best intentions and quite a bit of basic human nature)...and ultimately what control we have is so little....particularly (and I speak as me rather than general) in regards to my illness. I am old enough to realise that it is what it is and I am what I am..and all I can do is tweak about a bit and generally be my own undoing.
I have heard some religious people who say that mental illness is the devil's work. There are times when it feels like hell. Quite a bit more so recently but I have a view that perhaps good and evil come from the same place rather than being in direct oppostion on higher levels than human existance. As in I don't see that there are 2 superpowers battling it out, somewhere out there, and using us as pawns. The only absolute I have in my life is that I will die. Which should make me more inclined to improve my health regime but I spend quite a bit of my time not wanting to be here. I am my own catch 22.
As with most humans...contradicitons abound in me. I don't know why that is either. Will leave that to theorists with the ability to focus and apply themselves to the task.
People are screwy, some are more screwy than others. Maybe the real tell tale sign is those that know they are screwy and apply damage limitation to others and those that don't know or don't care that they are screwy(reference point: Politicians and Financiers)
TTFN
P.S. Wanted to stick up Robert Palmer's 'Woke Up Laughing' as song of the day but Youtube not obliging so went for this instead:
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Re your comment on AM's post...
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I am here.
Or even if there IS a reason.
I don't even know for certain if I shall die - although it looks likely...
It doesn't matter, anyway.
Something is better than nothing.
So I try to make my something as good as possible.
And I want my children to suffer as little as possible - they didn't ask to be born.
That abouts sums up MY existence.
And there ARE some times that I'm glad I exist.
BTW I had the same problem trying to post a comments last night - so I guess there muct have been a technical glitch somewhere.
Thanks Mandy - got rid of the silly verification thing for now.
ReplyDeleteExistentialism - a religion that forces people to live in tents. Intensely, at that.
Re: your last paragraph, did you read that mendacious, self-serving, bare-faced, chutzpacious pile of drivel Blunkett wrote on the gruaniad this morning?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/feb/24/civil-liberties
Good/evil - in all of us. No dichotomy. I don't hold with original sin as a religious concept, but think humanity is imperfectible - perhaps that is one of its greatest assets.
Robert - nice sentiments - I know what you mean exactly.
Take care all, D
"Existentialism..I thought that was something to do with additions to the home."
ReplyDeleteGenius! Still giggling (or as close to giggling as I can get right now)
Theres nothing wrong with being screwy. Accepting it and embracing it makes the inevitability so much easier.
Lola x
Robert,
ReplyDeleteOf course you are going to die, we are all going to die! Death is not a low probability event nor can it be transcended through uncertainty.
Hi Richard
ReplyDeleteI want my daughter to suffer as little as possible too. Hence, during the most cronic episodes in my life (which have far outweighed the non cronic times) she has lived with her nan. Mutual agreement based on undersanding and love.
Have done my best to ensure what time we have together has been and remains quality time, although have not used diminished responsiblities to prevent me being an active participant in her life and development.
The biggest problem for me has always been consistency. There are things that I am consistent about...certain principles but in regards to maintaining a decent level of function that would have worked for her (as a child). That was a "No no". It may sound like a cop out but actually I think I made the sanest decision in my life, with Em's Nan's help, for her to provide the constant care for Em..until such times as I was able and I was for Em's teen years.
Now Em bases her accomodation on practicalities (to do with uni and work) and that is how it should be. Plus if Em was with me daily she would be feeling more of the impact of her Grandad's illness. Which she finds highly upsetting and can do without whilst she is getting on with her education and plans for the future.
have gone off on total tangent but is mega relevant to me and Em.
One thing I do know is that all anyone can ever do is their best (as in what they understand to be the best) :>)
Hi D
ReplyDeleteThanks for sorting the verification thing out. I fall at the first hirdle of technical complexity that comes my way.
Don't think I could get into existentialism as I can't be doing with chemical toilets or piddling behind bushes.
Haven't read Blunkett's latest warblings..thanks for link but guess I expect a load of pious crap about what other people should be doing. He is another one of those that needed to get their own house in order..on more than one occasion before making decisions about other people's lives).
By the way...have you heard the latest public outcry in regards to a disabled presenter on the BBC Childrens' Channel. The public, sort of at large, thinks that disabled presenters are too frightening to their children.
Talk about stigma. I don't think it is the children that have the issues so much as the parents.
x
Apologies Robert, I called you Richard. It's the lozees, my friend, they do weird things to my short term memory.
ReplyDelete"What's my name, again?" :>)
Hi Lola
ReplyDeleteI envisage a whole string of day time tv programmes, to follow around existentialism.
"How existential is your kitchen"
"Existentialism in the attic"
I quite like the idea of replacing the mid-day woman's hour with "Loose existentialism"
Being loosely existential is about as close as I am going to get.
Has been quite some time since I embraced my screwyness....time for some self-hugging. xx
Norm
ReplyDeleteTranscendence through uncertainty. Hmmm....
I think MH Services are managing to transcend through patient uncertainty, into an office based model of recovery (of financial assets). For the use of...answers on a postcard to The Decision Maker.