As Good As It Gets (at any given time)

Sort of prompted by Aethelread's posting (his reflections on his mental health) and the latest clap trap from Mental Health Foundation. Before people start thinking that I am relating Aethelread's post directly to MH Foundation, I am not. More that the organisation's view that the public are worrying too much and should chill out is the latest in a line of 'Bollocksy Hype' that is an insult to the thoughts and feelings of people who have been or are being made redundant (through no fault of their own) and those of us with long term mental illness that are sick to death of self serving organistions telling us what to do.

I could be accused of selling Aethelread my own hype..which is basically around individuals having to muddle through, doing things that prevent (as best as) more incoming demands and negative input that drives us (deffo me) more skatty. For sure trying to do positive things..things that make me feel better (and that depends on the day and where my starting point is) and avoiding crass and crap propaganda that will either make me feel a failure because I am not singing and dancing my way to recovery or putting up and shutting up like a good little loony.

Anyway, I have been managing pretty well. Nothing at all to do with some structured WRAP plan or recovery model. Haven't had any epiphanic happenings. Have just, as I always do, dealt with each day as it has arrived and acknowledged that there have been more pozzies than neggies. And that is down to me, not anyone else (as it usually is).

No man is and island and I am not saying that I can get on with my life without having other people in it but they have their own issues and there is a part of me that has to detach (again varies and depending on my own states at the time) to be able to deal with me.

Is not so easy to do when it comes to Dad because Dad is different. Dad is a core part of me and getting the balance (when there is one to be got) between helping him and becoming overwhelmed is a tough one.

The only wobbly I have had was due to another cock up on his meds front. He rang me in a flap. By the time I got to him he had rung his care-coordinator. Won't go into details but basically she was dumping the problem back on him. He was agreeing to do things and then getting confused. I rang the PALs department basically asking what the role of a care co-ordinator is because from where I was sitting it was to pass the problem back to the patient (who was then passing the problem on to me). They were indirectly saying that they didn't actually want to get involved. Nothing new there then!

Cutting to the chase Dad rang his GP practise and got very confused and was told a GP would ring back in an hour or so??? I advised him to ring his care-coordinator back and she relented and sorted the problem out.

All that shenanigans when she could have just sorted it out in the first place. I have been advised to invoice the Trust for my time and inconvenience. I could do a retrospective invoice for the many previous times when I have done MH professionals jobs for them but I don't want the money, I just want them to do their jobs properly. Fat fucking chance!

Anyway, that was the blip. Most of the rest of the time has been good. I have been walking to the local shops (with no freaky moments), and getting Dad's shopping. Walked to town with STR worker and thoroughly enjoyed that and the time we spent talking together. Stayed over at friend's and cooked a (veg) sausage casserole and when at home been listening to the radio (Beeb 4 has interesting selection) sorting bits about the house and making cards.

Was told the psychiatrist's letter and test results were sent to GPs on Tuesday but am in no hurry to put another lot of meds in my system...and certainly not Lithium. Have gone from being concerned about side effects to very anti.

Am coping, pretty well, with the lozees (back to taking 1.5mg per day) and that, for now, is as good as it gets for me.